Business People Comic Strips - Page 86

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business People

View 851 - 860 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Meet At My Office

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meet At My Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, schedule, time, wasting time, selfish, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Computer: Let's meet at my office on Friday. Dilbert: Sure. Or... you could waste your day traveling to my office instead. Computer: You're being a jerk. Dilbert: You started it.

Travelling Broadens Worldview

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Travelling Broadens Worldview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags travel, perspective, view, worldview

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I love travelling because it broadens my understanding of the world. Wally: I know what you mean. I just got a cubicle near the window and now I see the world as an alleyway between me and the parking garage. Alice: That's dumb. Wally: That's not what the alley people say.

Telling People How To Do Their Jobs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Telling People How To Do Their Jobs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, quality assurance, misunderstanding, micromanage, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alan, From Quality Assurance. Boss: Is it true that the only thing you have been doing is assuring people we have quality? Alan: I don't like to tel people how to do their jobs. Boss: Telling people how to do their jobs is literally your job. Alan: In that case, stop doing all of this.

Weak Sales Reorg

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Weak Sales Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, money, golden parachute, greed, logic, sales, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.

Electric Car Business

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Electric Car Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags electric car, scam

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're getting into the electric car business. Dilbert: Why? Boss: Because it sounds impressive and it will take years for anyone to figure out we did it wrong. We'll have new jobs by then. Dilbert: Did you just turn my job into a criminal conspiracy?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags logic, no-win, deadline

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are these user specifications complete? I ask because any later changes will cause me to miss the deadline. Man: What if I only need a tiny change later? Wally: I'm counting on it. That way I can blame you when I miss the deadline. Man: How do most people handle this situation? Wally: Well, the pessimists know they're doomed, so it's no surprise to them when it happens. Man: What do the optimists do? Wally: They become pessimists.

Dogbert's Recommendations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Recommendations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, consultant, listening, employees, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults. Dogbert: I recommend doing all of the things your employees have been telling you to do. Boss: I don't see why I should pay you for this. Dogbert: Oh. Then how about doing all the things your competition is doing? Boss: Now, that's a great idea. Dogbert: Good, because that's what your employees have been telling you to do.

The Self Serving Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Self Serving Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consultant, cruelty, laziness, work ethic, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Self-Serving Consultant. Dogbert: I recommend firing this guy so you have more money for me. I also recommend withholding his final check until he makes all of my PowerPoint slides for me. Man: This is messed up. Dogbert: Add some recommendations so I sound smart.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags scam, death, reincarnation, con, con artist, ghost, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm starting a new business selling clothes to ghosts. My garments are made of the finest ectoplasm. Dilbert: Ghosts don't have money. Dogbert: They don't need money. I'm using a life insurance business model. If you pay me until you die, I will keep your ghost well-dressed for eternity. I also offer reincarnation services. Leave all of your stuff to me when you die and I'll give it back to you when I find the baby that got your soul. Dilbert: You'll be in trouble if your customers realize you're running a scam. Dogbert: If dead people start complaining, we've both got bigger problems than my scams.

Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags science, discovery, trick, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My particle accelerator has discovered a new fundamental particle that I call "Dogbertium." It's properties are awesomeness and mystery. One of the mysteries is that it only exists when people don't ask too many questions.