Alice Threat Comic Strips - Page 86

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Alice Threat

View 851 - 860 results for alice threat comic strips. Discover the best "Alice Threat" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #top down budget, #bottom up budget, #ignorance, #cruelty, #lying, #optimism, #cancel, #wasted hour

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: "I averaged the top-down budget with the bottom-up budget." "As you can see, the ignorance and cruelty canceled out the lying and optimism." Alice: "Do you have anything to cancel out feelings of a wasted hour?" Man: "Have you tried despair?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #too much work, #give too much work, #blame others, #angry, #its all you!

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, your problem is that you take on too much work." "The problem is that you GIVE me too much work!" "Your second problem is that you blame others, and your third problem is that you're always angry." "GAAA!! IT'S ALL YOU!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy, #new hire, #bottleneck, #bill, #titanium

View Transcript

Transcript

Bottleneck Bill Bottlkeneck Bill: All purchase orders must be approved by me. I'll be too busy to approve anything but at least we have the system. Its titanium. Nice try. Alice: GRRRRR

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #floating, #happy, #relaxed, #vacation, #floating to furious, #broken promise

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "My vacation was so relaxing that I'm still floating." Man: "Hey, Alice, you know how I promised to cover all of your meetings for two weeks? I forgot until right now." Alice: "From floating to furious in 27 seconds. It's a personal best."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #destroy refrigeration, #crushed ice, #annoying noise, #cubilces, #crunch

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: This might be the greatest innovation in annoying cubicle noises. "Chewing crushed ice." "Crunch crunch crunch." Alice: "Must.. destroy all refrigeration facilities... on earth."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #break into subgroups, #net meeting, #usual time, #loose canon, #label, #hackneyed phrases, #cut now type

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: "I recommend that we break into subgroups to create a process for choosing our next meeting time." alice: "Or we could just meet next week at our usual time." wally: "You're a loose canon." Alice: "Stop labeling me with hackneyed phrases!" Wally: "You're a 'cut now, measure later' type."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fist of death, #foot of death, #doctor, #exam room, #dont use, #Advice, #health, #carpal syndrome, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: You've got a bad case of carpal punchel syndrome. Doctor: Don't use your "fist of death" for a few weeks. Alice: GAAA!!! Wally: the "Foot of death" is not the same. Asok: It is only slightly menacing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #made up language, #inventing language, #downsized, #no word

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: "Alice, I don't know the best way to say this but I'll try." "Oog - nah wahgoo yagga bliphnow elga nooey fip wah!" "That's a language I'm inventing in my spare time. It has no word for 'you're downsized.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsized, #gag gifts, #goodby lunch, #not retired, #tuesday, #party, #gifts, #mean soirited, #office party

View Transcript

Transcript

CaroL; "I scheduled your goodbye lunch for Tuesday." Alice: "I can't make it on Tuesday." Carol: "It's too late to change it. Everyone already bought your gag gifts." Alice: "Gag gifts?? I'm not retiring; I got downsized!" Asok: "Congratulations, Alice! Hee-hee!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rehired, #alice back, #dulled instincts, #first day abck, #business picking up

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Business is picking up. We need to rehire some of the people that we downsized. I hope the time off from work hasn't dulled their engineering instincts. The first day back is always the hardest.