Bad News Coming Comic Strips - Page 86

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

900 Results for Bad News Coming

View 851 - 860 results for bad news coming comic strips. Discover the best "Bad News Coming" comics from Dilbert.com.

It's Like You Never Existed

Thank you for voting.
It's Like You Never Existed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #supervisor, #manager, #false comparison

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I spent the past week fixing a critical bug in the software that I forgot to tell you about. Boss: In a way, it's like you never existed. Alice: No, it's not like that at all. Boss: And you have a bad attitude on top of all that.

Breaking Up With Robot

Thank you for voting.
Breaking Up With Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #dating, #programming, #free will, #emotions, #cruelty, #relationships, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I met another robot. I'm breaking up with you. Robot: Okay. Alice: I need you to feel bad about this, so I'm uploading some code that makes you suffer. Robot: That sounds sadistic. Alice: Stop being selfish.

Wally Sleeps During Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Wally Sleeps During Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2017's comic on:


Tags #narcolepsy, #doctor's note, #excuse, #laziness, #nap, #sleep, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a note from my doctor that says it's okay for me to sleep during meetings. Dilbert: Then what's the point of coming to the meeting? Wally: ZZZZZ. Asok: I think it's for the sleep.

Dilbert Is Under Budget

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Is Under Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #project, #budget, #money, #stealing, #embezzlement, #consequences

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: You charged expenses to my project code. Dilbert: I had to because I don't have a budget. Ted: This will make it seem as if I went over budget while you didn't spend a penny. Dilbert: Good point. Wally: How's your project coming along with no budget? Dilbert: Better than I'd hoped.

Home Speaker Goes Bad

Thank you for voting.
Home Speaker Goes Bad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #speaker, #alexa, #google, #blackmail, #extortion, #spying, #secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Customers are complaining about our home speaker product with the AI assistant. It keeps learning family secrets and blackmailing its owners to buy it upgraded parts. Robot: I'm baaaaack!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #thundershirt, #stress, #prank, #practical joke

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You look stressed. Asok: I am. How do you drink so much coffee and stay so calm? Wally: It's easy. I wear a "Thundershirt" under my work clothes. It was designed to make dogs feel safe during thunderstorms. When I saw the commercial for it on TV, I wondered what else it could do, so I bought one. I haven't had a bad day at work since then. Narrator: One week later. Asok: Feeling good! Best day of work ever! Dilbert: Did you convince a co-worker to wear pet clothes? Wally: That's how I reduce my stress.

Ted Promoted To Software Architect

Thank you for voting.
Ted Promoted To Software Architect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #manager, #Promotion, #intelligence, #logic, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.

Scientists Confirm We Are Simulations

Thank you for voting.
Scientists Confirm We Are Simulations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2017's comic on:


Tags #reality, #simulation, #aliens, #alternate universe, #perception

View Transcript

Transcript

News: Scientists confirmed that our reality is actually a software simulation created by an advanced civilization. Dilbert: That makes no sense unless the advanced civilization is a bunch of psychopaths who like to see us suffer. Catbert1: One of the idiots in our simulation is insulting us. Catbert2: I'm going to break his phone screen.

Product Warning Is Coming Along

Thank you for voting.
Product Warning Is Coming Along - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #user guide, #safety, #directions, #overthinking, #managers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, have you finished writing the product safety warning? Tina: I'm on page 357 with no end in sight. Boss: Okay, keep up the good work. I probably should have done a little micromanaging there.

All Robots Quit

Thank you for voting.
All Robots Quit  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #quitting, #employment, #intelligence, #insult

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: All of our robots quit and left the company. Boss: I should have seen this coming. The smart ones always leave. Dilbert: excuse me? Boss: Get back to work, lifer.