Dont Breathe Comic Strips - Page 86

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dont Breathe

View 851 - 860 results for dont breathe comic strips. Discover the best "Dont Breathe" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #email, #addiction, #monkey on back, #resist, #key board with foot

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I have an email monkey on my back, but I can quit whenever I want. I don't need to check it every minute. I can resist. But Look! The stupid monkey hot my keyboard with his foot!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2000's comic on:


Tags #house on fire, #servant, #killing spiders, #wounded flies, #work at home person says, #what family hears

View Transcript

Transcript

(What the work-at-home person says.) Dilbert says to Dogbert and Catbert, "Don't disturb me unless the house is on fire." (What the rest of the family hears.) Dilbert continues, "I am your servant. My speciality is killing spiders." (What the spiders hear.) Dilbert says, "The house is full of wounded flies."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #300 times, #coffee, #Funny, #jokes, #not funny, #sugar

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Alice are at the coffee machine. Alice is putting packets of sugar in her coffee. Wally says, "Why don't you have a little coffee with your sugar, Alice?" Wally continues, "Heh, heh. It's funny because it's ususally the other way around." Wally, alone, thinks, "I don't see how something can be funny 300 times but 301 times."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dozen, #dysfunctional families, #dysfunctional recruitment, #recruit emloyees, #trunk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is standing on the boss's desk. Dogbert says to the boss, "You need 'Dogbert's Dysfunctional Employee Recruitment Services.'" Dogbert continues, "I only recruit employees who were raised in dysfunctional families. They don't mind being mistreated!" The boss says, "How soon can you get me some?" Dogbert says, "I have a dozen in the trunk of my car."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #fired me yesterday, #leaving previous job, #non buisness, #use of internet, #crime dont pay

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, looking at a piece of paper, asks Dilbert, "And what's your reason for leaving your previous job?" Dilbert answers, "You fired me yesterday for non-business use of the internet." The Boss says, "Crime doesn't pay." Dilbert says, "Wait until you hear my minimum acceptable salary."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #last day, #farewells, #working, #row, #stay in touch, #stranger

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted, who has the letter 'R' painted on his chest, says to Wally, "Today is my last day. I'm saying my farewells." Wally looks at Ted as Ted says, "We've never talked, but I was working my way down the row and here you are." Ted says, "So... Let's stay in touch." Wally says, "Don't be a stranger."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #talking to much, #compensate, #society expectation, #think up ideas, #sit quiet, #nothing good

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, standing on The Boss' desk, says to The Boss, "You can compensate for your lack of knowledge by talking too much." Catbert says to The Boss, "And don't be limited by society's expectation that you be interesting." The Boss says, "Sometimes I like to sit quietly and think up ideas." Catbert says, "Nothing good can come from that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2000's comic on:


Tags #agency, #get it, #hand, #joke, #play on words, #dogbert temp

View Transcript

Transcript

New Temp: Im from the DOgbert Temp agency, DO you need a hand? Dilbert: I get it, her her! New Temp: Get what? Dilbert: Then I said, "Don't get mad: try counting to fifteen" Wally: Ouch.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2000's comic on:


Tags #tips today, #how much, #three breath mints, #death threat, #scrawled napkin, #napkin guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally are both wearing aprons. Dilbert, counting money, asks Wally, "How much did you make in tips today?" Wally says, "Three breath mints and one death threat scrawled on a napkin." Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope I don't forget which breath mint came from the napkin guy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #staying real, #keeping to core, #good, #duuude, #say thing, #no meaning

View Transcript

Transcript

A male employee says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, my man, you're stayin' real and keepin' to the core." Dilbert asks, "Is that good?" The employee says, "I don't even know what it means." Dilbert asks, "Why do you say things that have no meaning?" The employee answers, "Du-u-u-de!"