Dilbert Laughs Comic Strips - Page 87

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dilbert Laughs

View 861 - 870 results for dilbert laughs comic strips. Discover the best "Dilbert Laughs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #noriko, #generation, #Kids, #power, #names, #ship, #oxygen, #mars, #plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the grass. Noriko stands between them saying, "You adults are ruining the planet for my generation." Noriko continues, "We kids have no power now, but I'm taking names. When we take power we'll ship you all to a penal colony on Mars." Dilbert replies, "There's no oxygen on Mars." Noriko says, "Oh, NOW you learn to plan ahead."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #electronic, #world, #poll, #collective, #economic, #majority, #selfish, #ambitions, #democratic, #system

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair working on the computer. Dilbert says, "Now that you've united the electronic mail users of the world, what are you going to do?" Dogbert replies, "I'll poll them about their needs, then use their collective political and economic power to get them whatever the majority wants." Dilbert asks, "Couldn't you easily rig the vote to support your own selfish ambitions?" Dogbert says, "I love the democratic system."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #organized, #tasks, #priorities, #trouble, #stapler, #oil, #goodness, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "There . . . I've organized all of my tasks into 'A,' 'B' and 'C' priorities." Dilbert thinks, "The 'A' priorities aren't even worth doing. And the 'B' priority stuff would probably get me in trouble." Dilbert asks Wally, "Are you done with the stapler oil?" Wally holds up a polished stapler and says, "Thank goodness for 'C' priorities."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Wally, #crack, #writing, #mission statement, #strategic, #business, #initiatives, #empowered, #employees, #team, #paradigms, #marvel, #paid, #donuts

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I took a crack at writing a 'mission statement' for our group." The Boss reads, "We enhance stockholder value through strategic business intiatives by empowered employees working in new team paradigms." Dilbert asks Wally, "Do you ever just marvel at the fact we get paid to do this?" The Boss asks, "Did anybody bring donuts?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #brochure, #seminar, #management, #zombies, #utilize, #paradigm, #vertical, #empowerment, #proactive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "I got a brochure for 'Dogbert's Seminar on Management Zombies.' I think you should go." Dilbert reads the pamphlet, "Learn how to use words like: utilize, paradigm, vertical, empowerment, and proactive in every sentence." Dilbert says, "I'm not sure I want to talk like that." The Boss says, "Come . . . Join us . . . Don't be afraid . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #management, #seminar, #optimistic, #creative, #individuals, #jargon-spewing, #corporate, #zombies, #donut

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert points to a picture of a man with a lightbulb over his head. Dogbert says, "Many of you come to my management seminar as optimistic, creative, clear-speaking individuals." Dogbert continues, "But with hard work, you can become jargon-spewing corporate zombies, like Carl here." Dilbert sits in the audience. Carl sits in a chair looking straight ahead and saying, "I want to dialogue with you about utilizing resources." Dogbert says, "Good boy! Here's a donut." Dogbert tosses him a donut.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #video games, #office, #computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dogbert thinks, "I've seen that look before. He's in a video game trance." Dogbert thinks, "He can't move. I've got to do something fast." Dogbert stands on a ladder and stacks dishes on Dilbert's head. Dogbert says, "Lassie might have handled this differently."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #ratbert, #office, #computer, #video games

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk staring at his computer. He has dishes stacked on top of his head. Ratbert asks Dogbert, "What are those dishes doing on Dilbert's head?" Dogbert replies, "He's in a video game trance. I'm testing my theory that he is unaware of his environment and has no discernible mental activity." Ratbert walks away with dishes stacked on his head. Ratbert thinks, "Poor guy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #ted, #bussiness projects

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "As you know, all projects are assigned acronyms. Unfortunately, all the good ones have been used." The Boss says, "Any new project will have to use an acronym from this short list of somewhat less desirable choices." Dilbert asks, "What should I call my new project?" The Boss replies, "Well, you could use 'PHLEGM' or 'PLACENTA.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #accounting, #business projects, #computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. The Boss says, "Yesterday we ran out of acronyms. Today we used our last accounting code. We're in big trouble." Dilbert asks, "Why don't we just reprogram the computers to accept longer codes?" The Boss replies, "A project like that would need an acronym and an accounting code." Dilbert asks, "Why not reuse a code from a project that's complete?" The Boss says, "Oddly enough, we've never completed a project."