One Type Computer Comic Strips - Page 87

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for One Type Computer

View 861 - 870 results for one type computer comic strips. Discover the best "One Type Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #battery back up, #product, #no electricity

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "I've got an idea. Let's add a battery backup to our product." Dilbert thinks, "One . . . Two . . . Three . . ." The Boss says, "I've got an idea. Why don't we add a battery backup to our product?" Dilbert replies, "Because our product doesn't use electricity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #shore safely, #try to distarct, #accomplice, #cruel joke, #trunks, #humming fish, #jaws theme song

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert treads water. A dolphin says to him, "Some dolphins in my situation would help you get to shore safely." The dolphin says, "Others might try to distract you while an accomplice played a cruel joke." Another dolphin swims up behind Dilbert. Dilbert yells, "Come back here with my trunks!!!" One dolphin holds Dilbert's swimsuit in his mouth. The other dolphin says, "Let's asks the humming fish to do the 'Jaws' theme song."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coprotae cultures, #strategic allance, #issues, #beta code, #internet, #empowerment, #press release, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of an overhead projector discussing "Strategic Alliance Issues." Dilbert says, "Issue one: Our two companies have very different corporate cultures." A man with a goatee sits at the conference table working on a laptop. A woman with spiked hair sits next to him. The man says, "While you were droning I slammed out some beta code and put it on the Internet for comments." Dilbert says, "My company prefers to have that kind of decision made by uninformed executives. We call it 'empowerment.'" The man replies, "I'll mention that in the press release."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #heres card, #email, #address, #eighty characters, #meaningless, #reply function

View Transcript

Transcript

A man hands Dilbert a business card and says, "Thanks for the meeting. Here's my card." Dilbert reads the card and says, "You call that an e-mail address? It's eighty characters long and mostly meaningless." The caption says, "People with embarrassing e-mail systems . . ." Four people sit in a circle. A woman says, "I tell people, 'The reply function doesn't work. You have to type in my address.'" The man thinks, "Loser."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #all employees, #smell of popcron, #unprofessional, #banning popcorn, #tobacco, #perfum, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands on his desk chair and types, "To: All Employees. The smell of popcorn in the office is unprofessional . . ." Wally and Alice read the e-mail message and Alice says, "He's banning popcorn! First it was tobacco, then perfume, now this . . . There's only one pollutant left." Catbert types, ". . . This brings me to the unpleasant subject of Wally . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice crazy, #can't complain, #screen saver, #wally clipping nails, #made recording, #alice, #wally annoying sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at her desk listening to sounds coming over the cubicle wall. She clenches her teeth and thinks, "Oh, no . . . It's the maddening sound of Wally clipping his nails." Alice thinks, "The sound makes me crazy, but I can't complain because it would sound silly. Must . . . Wait . . ." Dilbert stands behind Wally and asks, "You made your own screen saver?" Wally replies, "It's called 'Wally's 101 Annoying Cubicle Sounds.'" The sound of slurping comes from his computer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #liz, #dating other men, #internet, #find hot babe, #credit card number, #inquisitive, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and Dogbert sits next to him. Dilbert says, "Liz starting dating other men. Two can play at that game." Dilbert continues, "I will use the power of the Internet to find a hot babe. Ah! Here's one." Dogbert says, "She wants your credit card number." Dilbert says, "Ooh! She's inquisitive. I like that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new sex symbols, #online personals, #tech prowness, #moonlit walks, #must like to dance, #applicants

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch using a laptop and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "Men who understand technology are the new sex symbols. Your online personals ad should emphasize your technical prowess." Dilbert asks, "How about 'Looking for woman who likes moonlit walks so I'll have more time alone with my computer'?" Dilbert continues, "And 'Must like to dance.' That's so I won't get a flabby, uncoordinated applicant." Dogbert says, "Don't call them 'applicants' on the first date."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ask applicants sone questions, #see how think, #five gallon, #bucket, #holds water, #job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with a man. Dilbert says, "We like to ask our applicants some questions that will allow us to see how you think." Dilbert asks, "If you have a five-gallon bucket and a fifty-gallon bucket, how can you tell which one holds more water?" The man beats his head with his fists and says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Dilbert says, "When I said, 'See how you think,' what I meant was . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation package, #worked 12 hrs, #creative, #stupor, #dementia, #worse

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice stands in front of the Boss's desk looking tired and disheveled. She hands some documents to the Boss and says, "Here's my presentation package. I worked twelve straight hours on it." Alice continues, "That includes three hours of creativity followed by nine hours of stupor, senseless twiddling and outright dementia." Alice says, "I suppose there's only one thing that could make this presentation worse." The Boss says, "Send it around for comments."