Strictly Business Comic Strips - Page 87

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #manager, #meeting, #laughing, #confused, #angry, #ridicule, #criticism, #embarrassed, #business

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Man says, "Moving forward, we'll go after the low-hanging fruit at the end of the day." Dilbert says, "Ha ha!" Dilbert says, "I like the way you used humor to mock the vacuous way managers speak." Wally says, "Snork" Man says, "Which part was humor?" Dilbert says, "I'll just be quiet now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #orders, #job, #elbonia, #training, #lonely, #uncomfortable, #business

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The Boss says, "I need you to go to Elbonia and do some hand-holding while they cut over to the new system." Dilbert says, "Because they?re incompitent?" The boss says, "And lonely." Dilbert says, "I'm not comfortable with this." Elbonian says, "Mud wine?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #job, #panic, #phrase, #angry, #offended, #accusation, #awkward, #business

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The Boss says, "Asok, we're hosting a forum for human resources executives, and I need you to organize it." Asok the intern says, "Gaaa!!! That will be like trying to herd cats." Catbert says, "What did you just say?" Asok the intern says, "I'm not racist." Catbert says, "Denial is proof!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #job, #assignment, #question, #scheme, #excited, #celebrating, #dancing, #lazy, #business

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The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to do an inventory in our warehouses. It should take about a month." Wally says, "Hypothetically, would anyone know the difference if I just made up the numbers?" The Boss says, "Well, no?" Wally says, "Dream job!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #reading, #e-mail, #memo, #urging, #congress, #law, #opposed, #annoyed, #ridicule, #business, #Politics

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the boss says, "The company urges all of you to e-mail your congressman and support the bill that gives us pork projects." Dilbert says, "If that bill becomes law, it will, in effect, transfer my tax money to you executives for your next obscene bonuses." The Boss says, "Don't you own company stock in your retirement account?" Dilbert says, "No, I'm only dumb enough to work here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #assignment, #partner, #annoyed, #calling, #human resources, #frustrated, #angry, #offended, #business

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the Boss says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with Ted on this project." Alice says, "Ted's a drama queen. Working with him will just slow me down." Ted says, "Hello? Human resources? Alice is being a bully." Alice says, "And so it begins."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #complaining, #excuse, #meeting, #annoyed, #angry, #frustration, #business

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Ted the Drama queen Ted says, "I can't attend the meeting Tuesday because Barry thinks I didn't return his flash drive." Ted says, "I'm afraid of him because he's a liar and a drunk, and I heard he killed a cab driver." Ted says, "I'd wear a disguise, but prosthetic adhesives give me hives." Alice thinks, "Must...control...jack...hammer." buddabuddabudda

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #asking, #project, #procrastination, #excuses, #blame, #distraction, #annoyed, #frustrated, #business

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The boss says, "Wally, you didn't e-mail me your project status." Wally says, "Did you check your spam folder?" Wally says, "Maybe you should check there before you besmirch my good name with your baseless accusations." The Boss says, "Did you send it?" Wally says, "Okay, I see how you're trying to turn this around."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #information, #credit, #managing, #costume, #confident, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Man says, "Consumer confidence is up, and that means more people will buy our products." Dogbert says, "I'm off to make random management changes so I can take credit for the improved economy." Dilbert says, "It's working?" The Boss says, "Sales are up!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #assignment, #plan, #inefficiency, #ridicule, #Advice

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the Boss says, "Asok, I'm putting you in charge of pandemic contingency planning." The Boss says, "Calculate the impact on our business if 50% of our employees are unable to be productive." Asok says, "That's twice as good as we're doing now." The Boss says, "Just make some slides that say it would be bad."