Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 87
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1000 Results for Office Workers
View 861 - 870 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 24,
2019
Counting Morons
Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm, moron
Transcript
office worker, dilbert and the boss at conference table. office worker: dilbert and i disagree on how to fix the bug. dilbert: for context, one of us is a moron, and one of us is always right. the boss: i'm confused because there are three of us here. dilbert: i forgot one moron.
Saturday May 25,
2019
And Then Mark Said
Tags anger, business, office, office workers, relationships
Transcript
tina: ...and then mark said... dilbert: stop talking about mark! dilbert is visually angry. dilbert: all you do is talk about mark! i am so sick of mark. please talk about anything but mark. dilbert is still visually angry. tina: someone told me you'd say that. dilbert: was his name -- MARK? dilbert angry.
Sunday May 26,
2019
Tags business, employees, office, office workers, pay raise, employee of the year
Transcript
the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.
Monday May 27,
2019
Wally's Reading Time
Tags business, meetings, office, office workers
Transcript
alice: wally, can we meet tomorrow at 8 am? wally: that's when i eat breakfast in the cafeteria. alice: how about 9 am? wally: that would bump into my bowel and reading time.
Tuesday May 28,
2019
Wally And His Priorities
Tags business, meetings, office, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
the boss: wally, can you attend a meeting at 10 am tomorrow? wally: sure. here's a list of my projects so you can tell me which one you want to fail while i'm wasting my time at your meeting. the boss: was there a chance one of them would succeed? wally: well played
Thursday May 30,
2019
If You Can Dream
Friday May 31,
2019
Go Hard Or Go Home
Tags boss, business, inspirational quote
Transcript
the boss: your inspirational quote of the day is... next frame is outside of office building: "go hard or go home." the boss in empty conference room: i shouldn't have made it sound like a choice.
Saturday June 01,
2019
Winners Never Quit
Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm, inspirational quotes
Transcript
the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.
Sunday June 02,
2019
Tags business, office, office workers, strategy, variables, forecast
Transcript
dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!
Monday June 03,
2019
Touch Base With Carl
Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers
Transcript
the boss: can you reach out to carl and touch base? dilbert: can you restate that using normal words? the boss: i could, but then it would feel as if i'm not managing you.

