Toxic Work Place Comic Strips - Page 87

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Executive Compensation Review Board "How much should we pay our CEO if he just shows up for work?" "FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS!!!" honk honk "The clown makes a good argument." "Aye!"

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I'm in trouble. Do we have a witness protection program for office snitches? "I have the perfect hiding place for employees." "I'm gonna go eat some asparagus. Try to blend in."

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"You're so attractive that I'm blind to your complete lack of qualifications." "If I hire you, will you show up for work?" "Not often, you ignorant lump." "Ha ha! It's cute the way you say it." "Ha ha! I want your office."

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"The new employee at work is hot, and she's getting special treatment. How can I get rid of her?" "Water finds its own level. She'll leave within a week." "They say that most people meet their future spouses at work." erk!

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"According to my benchmark tests, our product is the worst one on the market." "Maybe you can tweak the numbers." "Fake them?" "Fake is such an ugly word." "Just remember that your next raise depends on the sales of that product." "And mistakes happen. A decimal place can be either here or there." "All I'm asking is that you do the tests again...while drinking." "I always wondered what job satisfaction felt like."

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I come from a place where we have many colorful folk sayings! "I'm happier than a wooden spoon at a spelling bee." "Most of 'em don't mean nothin'."

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"Hello, tech support, my computer is frozen." "Try hanging up and slamming your hand in a drawer." "How's work?" "My average call time is down and my job satisfaction is up."

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This t-shirt goes to Ted for his work on the alpha project. "Your work was terrible. You're fired." IDIOT "It was frightening." "Were you scared shirtless?"

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"I need you to drop whatever you're doing and work all night to make this change to your system." "If you refuse to do my bidding, here's the rumor I will spread about you." "Ha! I'll say I was only scratching an itch." "Good luck with that."

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I stayed up all night working on Mindy's software because she threatened me if I didn't. "Really? Threats make you work all night?" "Um...No?" "Work on this all night or I'll punch you."