Job Refernce Comic Strips - Page 87

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

937 Results for Job Refernce

View 861 - 870 results for job refernce comic strips. Discover the best "Job Refernce" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Promotion, director, engineering group, assignment, fire them all, eliminate, passing off, dirty work, promotion for nothing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Wally, I'm promoting you to Director of the Engineering Quality Group!" Wally: "Yes!" "Wait a minute. I thought you were going to eliminate that group." The Boss: "Your assignment is to fire them all." Wally: "Aaagh! That will be hideous!" "And when I'm done you won't need a director. Then you'll fire me!" The Boss: "You have my word that I will not fire you." Dilbert: "Hi, guys." The Boss: "That would be a job for Executive Director Dilbert."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags canceling project, cooler acronym, anticipated move, carry empty binders, less fullfilling

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm cancelling your project so I can give your funding to a project that has a much cooler acronym." "Ha! The joke's on you! I anticipated this move from the beginning and have done nothing but carry empty binders for weeks!" "Being good at your job is less fulfilling than you might think, Dogbert."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, project, cooler, acronym, joke, anticipated, beginning, binders, fulfilling, Dogbert, job

View Transcript

Transcript

"I was just reading your project status report." "You say the project is delayed 'due to the ongoing bungling of a clueless, pointy-haired individual.'" "Instead of saying 'due to', it would read better as 'facilitated by'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pretending, personal lives, interested, management technique, job satisfaction, more money, boost intangible benefits, chisel away, salaries, families, wife divorced, job lowers self esteem, attract mate, said hello

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hi guys, how are your families?" "?" "?" "Why are you pretending to be interested in our personal lives?" "It's a management technique to increase your job satisfaction without giving you more money." "My plan is to boost your intangible benefits while continuing to chisel away at your salaries." "But enough about me...how are those families of yours?" "My wife divorced me because you make me work so many hours." "This job lowers my self-esteem too much to attract a mate." "Tell them I said 'hi'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vision thing, boss, visions, donuts, coffee, big house, servents, over rated, gardener, everyone laid off

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "As your leader it's my job to provide a vision." "But frankly, I'm not seeing anything." Wally: "Have another donut. Sometimes the sugar helps." The Boss: "It's working. I'm getting something, but it's fuzzy." Alice: "Quick! Try my coffee!" The boss: "Mmph!" "Oh yeah, there it is. Oh-oh-oh." "It looks like I'll be living in a big house with servants. And you'll all get laid off." Dilbert: "This vision thing is overrated." Wally: "So; do you have a gardener lined up yet?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags committed to buy, cost justify, ethical, execuitve, translate, vendor, weasel, words

View Transcript

Transcript

Weasel: tell me about your project and I'll translate it into weasel words for the business case. Dilbert: well, and executive had lunch with a vendor and committed to buy some stuff that doesn't work. Our job is to cost - justify the decision. Wesel: I quit Dilbert: Don't get all ethical on us.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags organ donor, reorganizations, unwanted employees, what job

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Sometimes I think these constant reorganizations are just excuses for getting rid of unwanted employees. Wally: what job did you end up with? Dilbert: Organ donor Wally: My shoulder is acting up. Do I talk to you or is there a form to fill out? Dilbert: I don't think thats an "Organ"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags resources vailable, common employees, more money, project, all gone, hypocrite boss, no time

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Although I'm technically the 'Boss' I believe it's my job to make resources available to you, the common employees." Dilbert: "I need more money for my project." The Boss: "Sorry, all gone." Dilbert: "Maybe I'll get on your calendar so we can discuss it." The Boss: I've got twenty minutes next summer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appointment, booked, every yahoo, set priorities, calendar

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: As the leader of this organization it's my job to set priorities. Carol: Heres your calendar, I booked you through next year with every yahoo who could dial your number. The Boss: Maybe I'll call this a priority.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil demons, stupidity, saint dogbert, image, protect and wathc, career change, out demons of stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "Is your job plagued by the evil demons of stupidity?" "Simply affix this image of Saint Dogbert to every document, cubicle or computer you want to protect and watch your career being to change!" "Out Out!! You demons of stupidity!!"