Make Face Comic Strips - Page 87

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View 861 - 870 results for make face comic strips. Discover the best "Make Face" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #concierge, #hotel, #slave, #do naything, #oo much, #donate kidney, #kiss up, #over trained, #give pay

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Concierge: "Welcome to the Metrogarden hotel! How may I make your stay incredible?" "I would be delighted to iron your socks, examine you for suspicious moles or take a second job and give you my pay." Dilbert: "I think they over-trained you." "I'm shaved and preped to donate a kidney."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsized, #gag gifts, #goodby lunch, #not retired, #tuesday, #party, #gifts, #mean soirited, #office party

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CaroL; "I scheduled your goodbye lunch for Tuesday." Alice: "I can't make it on Tuesday." Carol: "It's too late to change it. Everyone already bought your gag gifts." Alice: "Gag gifts?? I'm not retiring; I got downsized!" Asok: "Congratulations, Alice! Hee-hee!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feet off desk, #random mangement, #stock rise, #so random, #commands

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The Boss: "Take your feet off the desk." Dilbert: "Is this an example of random management or do you think it will make our stock rise?" The Boss: "It's up .02%. Heh-heh-heh, not so random after all."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insincere optimism, #artificial sense of urgency, #delusion, #work for challenge, #not money, #good ideas, #sound bad

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Dilbert: I'm developing an insincere optimism to complement my artificial sense of urgency. Dilbert: I hope to top it off with a delusion that I work for the challenge and not the money. The Boss: How can you make good ideas sound so bad? Dilbert: Im an engineer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #global economy, #vibrant, #fly bait, #reformatted, #disguise true objective

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Dilbert: "It's workers like me that make the global economy so vibrant." Carol: "The pointy-haired fly-bait wants this reformatted to disguise his true objective." Carol: "When you're done, don't show it anyone. No one cares." Dilbert: "Zesty!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #antivirus software, #secretly create viruses, #detected by software, #spooky, #underhanded, #sneaky, #criminal

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The Boss: Our company is going to make antivirus software. What's that tell you? CatBert: It tells me we'll secretly create viruses that can be detected only by our software. Catbert: Am I close? The Boss: You're spooky.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #make changes, #skills database, #know as guy, #avoid work, #too much work

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Tina: "Wally, can you show me how to make changes to the skills database?" Wally: "I can't risk being known as the guy who knows how to edit the database." Tina: "Because?" Wally: "I barely have time to avoid the work I already have."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #level conscious, #vide presidents offcie, #secretary, #make direct eye contact, #meeting, #boss, #new hire, #business

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"We're not 'level conscious' here." "You could walk up to any vice president's office and talk to his secretary as if you were an equal." "Which, by the way, you're not. So don't try to make direct eye contact."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rick, #mustaully exclusive, #transofrm, #package ultra light, #absorb impact, #brick wall

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Dilbert: "Hey, Rick. Allow me to explain why your specifications are mutually exclusive." Rick: "Must transform." Dilbert: "If we make the package ultra light, there won't be enough material to absorb impact when..." "I don't think I'm getting through."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alternative universes, #Dilbert, #therapy session, #dense objects, #space time fold, #fabric, #whats happening?

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Dilbert: All week I felt like I was driving through alternative universes I was me, But Was different. Therapist: Have you been near any dense objects that would make the fabric of space-time fold onto itself? ONE WEEK AGO The Boss: will there be any unforeseen problems? Dilbert: whats happening to me?