Business People Comic Strips - Page 87

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business People

View 861 - 870 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, rabert, false, humility, weasel, compliments, insult

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert and Dogbert sit on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've been using false humility to weasel compliments out of people . . ." Dogbert continues, "But I know YOU're way too smart to fall for that trick, Ratbert." Ratbert replies, "Actually, I'm as dumb as toast." Dogbert says, "Then I found I could use false compliments to make people insult themselves."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, insecure, insult, thin, sexy, whale, bad, hairdo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks outdoors thinking, "It's easy to make insecure people insult themselves." Dogbert says to a woman, "Good morning, ma'am. You look thin and sexy today!" The woman replies, "Sexy?! Ha! I'm a whale . . . A whale with a bad hairdo!" Dogbert walks away humming and thinking, "Next."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, mishap, hair, grown, formula, strong, urge, sunglasses, porsche

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch in a therapist's office. Dilbert says as the psychiatrist listens and takes notes, "Things have been strange since the mishap with my hair growth formula." Dilbert continues, "I have a strong urge to buy sunglasses and drive a Porsche . . ." Dilbert continues, "And I worry that people won't take me seriously." The psychologist has drawn a picture of Dilbert on her notepad.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, transferred, market, work, barbecue, tuesday, lunch, unicorn

View Transcript

Transcript

A man holding a drink and wearing a robe and a wreath of leaves on his head says to Dilbert, "You look lost." Music plays in the background. Dilbert says, "I never knew that marketing was like this . . . Do you people do any work?" The man replies, "Well, not on 'Barbecue Tuesday.' Are you staying for lunch? It's unicorn!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags carol, cobra, Dilbert, friend, good, mood, struck, Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. The woman next to Dilbert says, "Don't mind me today . . . It's almost time for my 'friend' to visit." Dilbert replies, "That's funny . . . I would think you'd be in a good mood if a friend were going to visit." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "She looked puffy, but she struck like a cobra." Dilbert's glasses are bent, his arm is in a sling and his clothes are disheveled.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, whacked, randy, remote, control, airplane, cattle, sheep, swear, Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands over an unconscious man. Another man yells, "Aaagh! You whacked Randy with your remote control airplane!!!" Dilbert says, "Oops!" The man continues to yell, "I'm warning you, frisbee people and airplane people don't mix . . . Like cattle and sheep . . . You'll pay for this!! I swear . . ." Another remote control plane hits the man in the head and knocks him out. Dilbert says, "Good one, Dogbert."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratbert, bob, dinosaur, meaningless, existence, ironically, ruined, life

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Bob, sometimes I wonder if there's a place in this world for a sensitive rat like me." Ratbert continues, "I can't live the hollow, meaningless shell of existence that others so ironically call 'life.'" Ratbert concludes, "I want to make a difference to people." Bob says, "Well, you ruined MY day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, advertising, company, underestimate, intelligence, apology, accepted

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "I'm going to open the 'Dogbert Advertising Company.'" Dogbert continues, "Apparently, people will believe just about anything that makes them feel good." Dilbert replies, "Hey, don't underestimate our intelligence." Dogbert says, "I could never underestimate you intelligence." Dilbert says, "Apology accepted."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, the boss, can-o-matic, restroom, stall, randomly, fires, pink, slip, backs, expressions, security, cameras

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert points to a picture of a bathroom and tells the Boss, "As your consultant, I recommend the 'Can-O-Matic' to reduce staff levels." Dogbert points to a picture of a person falling out a building window and explains, "Disguised as a restroom stall, the Can-O-Matic randomly fires people by slapping a pink slip on their backs and catapulting them out of the building." The Boss says, "But I won't get to see the expressions on their faces." Dogbert replies, "Well, we could fling them past the security cameras here . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, consultant, advised, handle, sneaking, stamping, cancelled, understand, goodyear, blimp

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "My consultant advised me to handle the layoffs in a direct, professional way." The Boss holds up a rubber stamp and continues, "So, throughout the day I'll be sneaking up on people and stamping 'Canceled' on their backs." As Wally runs away, Alice says, "Let me see if I understand . . ." The Boss points and says, "Hey! Is that the Goodyear blimp?"