Using Conference Room Comic Strips - Page 87

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934 Results for Using Conference Room

View 861 - 870 results for using conference room comic strips. Discover the best "Using Conference Room" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Uses Phone When Troll Does

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Wally Uses Phone When Troll Does - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #troll, #trolling, #handle, #busted, #caught

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Boss: I've noticed that whenever I get a tweet from an anonymous troll, you're using your phone. Wally: That sounds like confirmation bias. Boss: His user name is coffeesixhairs. Wally: Now you just sound crazy.

Boss Is Like A Zombie With No App

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Boss Is Like A Zombie With No App  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #zombie

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Dilbert: Thanks to my new neural interface, I can control our boss using an app. I haven't written the app yet, so all he does is sit there like a zombie. Wally: Maybe we can skip the app. Alice: There's no reason to over-engineer it.

Animal Testing Is Done

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 Animal Testing Is Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #app, #technology, #addiction, #morals, #big business, #ethics

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Dilbert: The animal testing for our app is done. The app is so addictive that Zimbu the monkey was hospitalized for starvation while using it. I think we all know what we need to do. Boss: Submit it to the app store?

Bad Analogies

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Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #criticism, #critique, #simile, #language

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Man: Your idea is awful. Dilbert: Can you explain your reasons without using an absurd analogy? Man: It's like a pregnant squirrel eating a sandwich. Dilbert: I'll take that as a no.

Wally Maintains The Network

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Wally Maintains The Network  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #information, #spying, #surviellance, #blackmail, #extortion

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Boss: Wally, your performance is terrible. You're fired. Wally: Are you aware that every message you have ever sent using company devices is archived on a network you assigned me to maintain? Boss: Is that a threat? Wally: I also archive your web searches.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training, #frustration, #wasting time

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Man: Thank you all for coming to this mandatory class on using the new system. The new system installation is behind schedule, so I'll train you using the old system. Dilbert: we know how to use the old system. Man: I'll point out how the new system is different as we go. Dilbert: Is the new system a lot like the old system? Man: No. Totally different. Dilbert: This is the worst idea I've ever heard. Man: Here are some handouts from the old system's operating guide. Dilbert: This is the Japanese language part of the manual. Man: Are you going to complain about everything?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suggestion, #invention, #budget, #money

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Dilbert: The electronic suggestion box project is halfway done. The original design called for a bos that scans and digitizes suggestions written on paper and emails them to the appropriate manager. Then the device shreds the original paper suggestion to make room for more. I already built the box and the shredder. I'll need additional funding to finish the scanning part. Boss: We don't have any flexibility in our budget. Let's just deploy what you have. Dilbert: All I have is a box that shreds suggestions before anyone reads them. Boss: Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

Meeting Rooms Are Booked

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Meeting Rooms Are Booked  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #managers, #scheduling, #conflict

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Dilbert: My project stalled because all of our meeting rooms have been reserved by managers just in case they need them. My current plan for success is to wait until one of you dies sow e can use your meeting room. Boss: Let's not do project status reports anymore.

Elbonian Slave Labor

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Elbonian Slave Labor  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #slave, #wages, #compensation, #minimum wage, #morality, #business, #money

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Boss: Management was shocked to learn that the company we acquired had been using Elbonian slave labor. We immediately replaced them with minimum wage employees who have no hope of career advancement. Wally: You did the right thing. Boss: That's how it felt.

Dilbert Starts The Cover Up

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Dilbert Starts The Cover Up  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #suspicion, #blame, #proof, #guilt, #innocence

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Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Alice: I think Dilbert is trying to ruin my career. Carol said he was mad about something I said, and hew as in the server room right before I lost my files. This morning he said he "had work to do." Boss: OMG. He already started the cover-up. Narrator: Continued...