Arms Out Comic Strips - Page 88

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Arms Out

View 871 - 880 results for arms out comic strips. Discover the best "Arms Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags attend meeting, mandatory meeting, meeting mandatory, approval, bending rules, handed out cash

View Transcript

Transcript

"Can I talk to you after the mandatory meeting?" "Whoa! Whoa! I didn't give you approval to attend that meeting." "The meeting is mandatory." "Approval is mandatory too." "Okay, whatever." "May I go to the mandatory meeting?" "All requests must be in writing." "It's mandatory!!! Man-duh-tory!!!" "If people start bending the rules, before long, murder will be legal." "That was the finest mandatory meeting I've ever attended! They handed out cash!" "Shut up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags carol, secreatry, secret society, executive secreataries, rule the world, own secreatries, Women, meeting, take over the world, evil overlords, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: welcome to the secret society of executive secretaries. Today we will wrest power from our evil overlords! Tomorrow we'll rule the world! Then connie pointed out that we'd need our own secretaries and the whole thing fell apart.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags check, forgiveness, philosophy, rip out heart, seek forgiveness, ask permission, internet, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Gaaa!!! How could you do this without checking with me??!! My philosophy is that its better to seek forgiveness than to ask for permission. Dilbert: did he say you could rip out hi heart and sell it on the internet? Alice: Kinda.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags prima donna, never produced anything, except arrogance, noise, ta-da, case closed, stand behind, end sentences

View Transcript

Transcript

"Asok, I want you to work for the prima donna. Do what ever he tells you." "May I point out that he has never produced anything except arrogance and noise?" "You will stand behind me, and when I end a sentence, you will either say, 'Ta-da' or 'case closed.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags small business, need to be paid, small man, truthful, painfully honest

View Transcript

Transcript

I own a small business. Its imperative that you pay us on time or else we'll go out of business. and then you wouldn't ever need to pay... Oh dear lord, what have I said?!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lunch, great opportunity, multi level marketing, bible, diet plan

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hey, Dilbert! How would you like to go to lunch?" "Alone." "Alone! Ha ha! but then you'd miss out on this great opportunity!" "It's multi-level marketing plus a diet plan suggested by the bible!" "Shoot me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags car, late, cold, car wouldn't start, warm out, wind chill factor, no actual car, lied. boss, excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: I'm late because my car wouldn't start in the cold. The boss; Its warm outside. allyL theres a little thing called the wind chill factor. Hello - o - o -o!! Dilbert: that was wrong on many levels. wally: Someday Im gotta get a car.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lost id badge, security offcie, sneak, angel with bacon, looks around

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I lost my ID besiege. Security: Report to the security office and get a new one. Hold it where do you think you're going? Dilbert: To the security office? Security: No one is allowed past this desk with out an ID badge. Dilbert: Okay....how do I go to the security office if I can't go to the security office? Security: Good question. I guess you'll have to steal past me. Dilbert: Look over there! Its an angel and she's giving away free bacon! Security: well well It seems Ive found a worthy adversary.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, himan resources, cheaper, employee wellness program, sick days, incentives, highly paid workers, more fun

View Transcript

Transcript

"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employee attitude survey, bigger bonuses, happy, money, lie, no lying, surveys, science, new couch

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our bonuses will depend on the results of the employee attitude survey. If we boost our morale rank, we'll get bigger bonuses. get it? all you have to do is say you're happy and you get money. wink wink wink Dilbert: you want us to lie? No-o-o-o! Heaven forbid, absolutely no lying, But if you did lie, Imagine the things you could buy with that money, I'll hand out the surveys and you can let your conscience guide you. Dilbert: Is "para dise too over the top? Wally: Im going to lie me up a new couch!