Arms Out Comic Strips - Page 88
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1000 Results for Arms Out
View 871 - 880 results for arms out comic strips. Discover the best "Arms Out" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 09,
2004
Tags attend meeting, mandatory meeting, meeting mandatory, approval, bending rules, handed out cash
Transcript
"Can I talk to you after the mandatory meeting?" "Whoa! Whoa! I didn't give you approval to attend that meeting." "The meeting is mandatory." "Approval is mandatory too." "Okay, whatever." "May I go to the mandatory meeting?" "All requests must be in writing." "It's mandatory!!! Man-duh-tory!!!" "If people start bending the rules, before long, murder will be legal." "That was the finest mandatory meeting I've ever attended! They handed out cash!" "Shut up."
Tuesday May 18,
2004
Tags carol, secreatry, secret society, executive secreataries, rule the world, own secreatries, Women, meeting, take over the world, evil overlords, business
Transcript
Carol: welcome to the secret society of executive secretaries. Today we will wrest power from our evil overlords! Tomorrow we'll rule the world! Then connie pointed out that we'd need our own secretaries and the whole thing fell apart.
Monday May 31,
2004
Tags check, forgiveness, philosophy, rip out heart, seek forgiveness, ask permission, internet, technology
Transcript
Alice: Gaaa!!! How could you do this without checking with me??!! My philosophy is that its better to seek forgiveness than to ask for permission. Dilbert: did he say you could rip out hi heart and sell it on the internet? Alice: Kinda.
Friday June 11,
2004
Tags prima donna, never produced anything, except arrogance, noise, ta-da, case closed, stand behind, end sentences
Transcript
"Asok, I want you to work for the prima donna. Do what ever he tells you." "May I point out that he has never produced anything except arrogance and noise?" "You will stand behind me, and when I end a sentence, you will either say, 'Ta-da' or 'case closed.'"
Monday June 14,
2004
Tags small business, need to be paid, small man, truthful, painfully honest
Transcript
I own a small business. Its imperative that you pay us on time or else we'll go out of business. and then you wouldn't ever need to pay... Oh dear lord, what have I said?!!
Tuesday July 27,
2004
Tags lunch, great opportunity, multi level marketing, bible, diet plan
Transcript
"Hey, Dilbert! How would you like to go to lunch?" "Alone." "Alone! Ha ha! but then you'd miss out on this great opportunity!" "It's multi-level marketing plus a diet plan suggested by the bible!" "Shoot me."
Friday July 30,
2004
Tags car, late, cold, car wouldn't start, warm out, wind chill factor, no actual car, lied. boss, excuse
Transcript
wally: I'm late because my car wouldn't start in the cold. The boss; Its warm outside. allyL theres a little thing called the wind chill factor. Hello - o - o -o!! Dilbert: that was wrong on many levels. wally: Someday Im gotta get a car.
Sunday August 01,
2004
Tags lost id badge, security offcie, sneak, angel with bacon, looks around
Transcript
Dilbert: I lost my ID besiege. Security: Report to the security office and get a new one. Hold it where do you think you're going? Dilbert: To the security office? Security: No one is allowed past this desk with out an ID badge. Dilbert: Okay....how do I go to the security office if I can't go to the security office? Security: Good question. I guess you'll have to steal past me. Dilbert: Look over there! Its an angel and she's giving away free bacon! Security: well well It seems Ive found a worthy adversary.
Friday August 27,
2004
Tags evil director, himan resources, cheaper, employee wellness program, sick days, incentives, highly paid workers, more fun
Transcript
"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."
Sunday August 29,
2004
Tags employee attitude survey, bigger bonuses, happy, money, lie, no lying, surveys, science, new couch
Transcript
The Boss: Our bonuses will depend on the results of the employee attitude survey. If we boost our morale rank, we'll get bigger bonuses. get it? all you have to do is say you're happy and you get money. wink wink wink Dilbert: you want us to lie? No-o-o-o! Heaven forbid, absolutely no lying, But if you did lie, Imagine the things you could buy with that money, I'll hand out the surveys and you can let your conscience guide you. Dilbert: Is "para dise too over the top? Wally: Im going to lie me up a new couch!


