Business Failures/Bankruptcies Comic Strips - Page 88
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1000 Results for Business Failures/Bankruptcies
View 871 - 880 results for business failures/bankruptcies comic strips. Discover the best "Business Failures/Bankruptcies" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday June 09,
2012
Tags business ethics, employee parking, inconvenience, by design, personal errands, intention suffering
Transcript
Dilbert: The employee parking situation is terrible. I had to park a mile away. Catbert: That's by design. The inconvenience removes your temptation to run personal errands during the day. Dilbert: You're intentionally making my life more difficult? Catbert: What do you think management is?
Thursday June 14,
2012
Tags anger, bad idea, email, hate, meeting, recommend changes, bed ideas, business
Transcript
Coworker: Did you see my email with all of my recommended changes to your product? Dilbert: Yes. Everything you suggested is a bad idea, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why. Coworker: Now I hate you. Dilbert: All roads headed in that directions. All I did was take the shortest one.
Friday June 15,
2012
Tags libertarianism, standards meeting, elbonia, legal, meeting, business
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I need you to attend a standards meeting in Elbonia. Wally: Heh, heh. A lot of things are legal in Elbonia that aren't legal here. Boss: Are any of you not libertarians? Wally: Heh, heh, heh.
Saturday June 16,
2012
Tags business ethics, embarrass your compnay, etiquette & ethics, local debauchery, personal behavior, pollute ground water, pollution, reflect poorly, elbonia
Transcript
Wally: Where can I go to enjoy some of the local debauchery? Elbonian: Aren't you worried that your personal behavior will reflect poorly on your company? Wally: How can I embarrass a company that plans to pollute your groundwater? Elbonian: Say what? Wally in Elbonia
Monday June 18,
2012
Tags country, etiquette & ethics, meeting, mens restroom, sacred, sacred shrine, travel, elbonia, business
Transcript
Boss: How was your meeting in Elbonia? Wally: Awesome! Did you know that the most sacred shrine in Elbonia looks exactly like a men's restroom? Boss: No. Wally: Right. So don't blame me for not knowing.
Monday July 09,
2012
Tags browser history, business ethics, engineer, engineering, padded resume, puppets, technically, rumor
Transcript
CEO: I'd like to address the rumor that I padded my resume. In the strictest sense of the word, I am not technically an "engineer" per se. But to put this in perspective, even The Pope hides his browser history. It's no big deal.
Monday July 30,
2012
Tags business failures/bankruptcies, stock market, innovative pordcuts, in pipeline, r&d budget, firings, sexy startup, work smarter, ironic, money
Transcript
Boss: Our stock is down 49% and we have no innovative products in the pipeline. CEO: Slash the R&D budget, fire 9,000 employees, and buy a sexy start-up company that we can run into the ground. Boss: We did all of that last year. CEO: Did I already tell the employees to work smarter? Boss: Yes. They thought you were being ironic.
Tuesday July 31,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, multitasking, ignorant bafoon, coffee, authority, business
Transcript
Carol: I can't finish everything today. Boss: Try multitasking. Carol: Multitasking? Is that like being an ignorant baboon and drinking coffee at the same time? Boss: I missed what you said because I was drinking coffee.
Thursday August 02,
2012
Tags big business, executives, profits down, increased compensation, incentive, feel underpaid
Transcript
CEO: Profits are way down, but don't worry your little heads about it. The board increased my annual compensation to $60 million. Now I finally have an incentive to do a good job! Un-oh. I'd better hurry because I'm already starting to feel underpaid again.
Friday August 03,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, work all night, inspiring employees, clearly defined roles, business
Transcript
Boss: We'll finish this project even if we have to work all night! Well, I just did my job of inspiring you, so I might as well go home. How do you like our clearly defined roles now?


