Wally Comic Strips - Page 88
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Character
1000 Results for Wally
View 871 - 880 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 21,
2012
Tags dating, rich people, top 1%, Women, sisters, hot, attraction, co worker, relationships
Transcript
Wally: Now that I'm a top one-percenter, I wonder what kind of women I'll attract. Do you have any sisters back home? I'm asking because you'd be totally hot if you were a woman. So I'm thinking hoo-ah! Asok: I cannot count the number of ways this is wrong.
Friday January 20,
2012
Tags prosperity, saving & investment, portfolio, standard industry, investing, billion dollars, index funds, money
Transcript
Dogbert: I'll manage your portfolio for a standard industry fee of 1% per year. Wally: I'm investing a billion dollars. Your fee would be $10 million per year. Dogbert: Those index funds aren't going to pick themselves.
Thursday January 19,
2012
Tags rich people, discrimination stellement, lazy, unscupulous, mirror
Transcript
Dilbert: I expected you to quit after you got your billion-dollar discrimination settlement. Wally: Just because I'm lazy and unscrupulous, why would you assume I'm also a quitter? Dilbert: I... um... Wally: I don't know how you look at yourself in the mirror.
Wednesday January 18,
2012
Tags clubs, meetings, rich people, tiny flying unicron, commodities, 1% club, imagination, Entertainment
Transcript
Wally: A tiny flying unicorn gave me this key. Guard: Grab a snout and a hat. We're just about to manipulate the commodities market. Wally: Is it my imagination or everything a little bit better here?
Tuesday January 17,
2012
Tags actions & defenses, billion dollars, business ethics, golden key, rich people, top 1%, flying unicorn
Transcript
Boss: Here's a billion dollars to settle your claim of discrimination against short, bald, nearsighted guys. Wally: I'm in the top 1% now. I wonder where we hold our secret meetings. Boss: Ask the tiny flying unicorn with the golden key.
Monday January 16,
2012
Tags apology, bald, business ethics, company lawyer, discrimination, lawyers, nearsighted, one billion, short, statue
Transcript
Lawyer: I've been asked to settle your claim of discrimination against the company. Your complaint is that they discriminate against you for being short, bald, and nearsighted. I might have a conflict of interest, but my final offer is one billion dollars. Wally: Plus a statue and an apology. Company lawyer.
Saturday January 14,
2012
Tags babies, complaining, human resources, evil director, discriminates, short, bald, near sighted, born this way, business
Transcript
Wally: My boss discriminates against me because I'm short, bald, and near-sighted. It's not my fault. I was born this way. Woman: And who is this little... whoa! Hello. Catbert: evil director of Human Resources. Literally.
Saturday January 07,
2012
Tags language, thinking, project management, life cycle, abtraction, weightless, management process
Transcript
Ted: The project management framework embodies a project life cycle and five major project management process groups. Dilbert: Oh no! The extreme level of abstraction has made us weightless! Ted: That doesn't even make sense.
Monday December 26,
2011
Tags christmas presents, sweaters, ugly sweater, lose a bet, gift from mom, hideous sweater
Transcript
Alice: What's up with the ugly sweater? Did you lose a bet? Dilbert: This? Oh, right. It was a gift from my mom. I'm wearing it once in case she asks me later. Alice: Did you know it was hideous before I told you? Dilbert: Maybe.
Tuesday December 20,
2011
Tags employees, interviews, tools for job, resource, agree to disagree, business
Transcript
Boss: Question four: do you have the tools to do your job? Wally: That depends. Do you consider yourself a tool? Boss: I'm a resource. Wally: Let's agree to disagree.

