Business People Comic Strips - Page 88

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags capitalism, big business, competition, benefit

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CEO: The company's goal is to make the world a better place. Dilbert: How does that square with our stated goal of destroying our competition? If we succeed, those people will be out of jobs. After we annihilate our competition, we can jack up our prices to monopoly levels and take advantage of our customers. Most of our profits go toward making the rich richer. We don't even pay taxes. Meanwhile, my co-workers and I will be living a life that has been stripped of all meaning. Is that what you had in mind by "Making the world a better place?" CEO: I didn't mean better for everyone.

Asok Is An Introvert

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Asok Is An Introvert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags introversion, introvert, loneliness, social situation

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Dilbert: Do you have plans for the weekend? Asok: No, I"m an introvert. I'll probably experience despair and loneliness while being jealous of people who have substance abuse problems. Dilbert: Yeah, me too. Asok: This conversation is dragging on too long.

The Comparison Problem

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The Comparison Problem  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags entrepreneur, comparison, power, money, perspective, happiness, psychology

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CEO: How'd it go when you told your staff to act more like entrepreneurs? Boss: Not so good. They were happier when they were comparing their careers to other people in cubicles. Dilbert: What?! This idiot is worth a billion dollars now??? Asok: Gaaa!!! I'm a failure!

Be Like Entrpreneurs

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Be Like Entrpreneurs  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, inspiration, control, entrepreneur, risk

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Boss: We need to disrupt our entire industry. And we need to move quickly. But check with me before you do anything. I want you to think like entrepreneurs, but not like the brave ones. People: Can do.

Ted Has Fly Brain

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Ted Has Fly Brain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags greeting card, sick, brain damage, marketing, advertising, mindless, business, medical

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Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.

Ted Has No Family

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Ted Has No Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, judgement, deciding, business

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Catbert: Ted went on extended disability because a fly went up his nose and laid eggs. Boss: I want to be green, but I don't know if I should side with the fly or the employee in this situation. Catbert: Well, for what it's worth, Ted doesn't have a family, but the fly does.

Wally Waits For People

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Wally Waits For People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags responsibility, laziness, work ethic, excuses

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Boss: You accomplished nothing this month. Wally: I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I believe it is your job to make sure those other people do their jobs. Boss: I guess I could talk to them. Wally: I'll wait for you to get back to me.

Biggest Risk To Happiness

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Biggest Risk To Happiness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, Advice, complaining, conversation, psychology

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Wally: The biggest risk to your happiness involves listening to other people. When they aren't trying to make you work, they're complaining. Asok: I hate that. Wally: Shhh. Don't talk.

Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood

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Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ai, artificial intelligence, scam, gullible, emotions, deception

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CEO: I heard you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions. Can I ask it a question? Wally: It's in a bad mood. It's not talking. CEO: Wow! It's just like people! Wally: You'd better leave before you make it cry.

Human Intelligence

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Human Intelligence  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ai, artificial intelligence, humans, arguing, human nature, intelligence, deception

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Wally: I started by giving the device human intelligence. Then I added human emotions. Now it answers every question by accusing you of having a secret agenda. Boss: Just like people!