Dilbert Died Comic Strips - Page 88
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Share June 22, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk staring at his computer. He has dishes stacked on top of his head. Ratbert asks Dogbert, "What are those dishes doing on Dilbert's head?" Dogbert replies, "He's in a video game trance. I'm testing my theory that he is unaware of his environment and has no discernible mental activity." Ratbert walks away with dishes stacked on his head. Ratbert thinks, "Poor guy."
Share June 23, 1993's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "As you know, all projects are assigned acronyms. Unfortunately, all the good ones have been used." The Boss says, "Any new project will have to use an acronym from this short list of somewhat less desirable choices." Dilbert asks, "What should I call my new project?" The Boss replies, "Well, you could use 'PHLEGM' or 'PLACENTA.'"
Share June 24, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. The Boss says, "Yesterday we ran out of acronyms. Today we used our last accounting code. We're in big trouble." Dilbert asks, "Why don't we just reprogram the computers to accept longer codes?" The Boss replies, "A project like that would need an acronym and an accounting code." Dilbert asks, "Why not reuse a code from a project that's complete?" The Boss says, "Oddly enough, we've never completed a project."
Share June 25, 1993's comic on:
Alice walks down the hall thinking, "I am Alice the Compulsive Grabber." Alice thinks, "When I see things that are not right I must grab them." Alice grabs Dilbert's tie. Dilbert says, "In an hour or so I may have to ask you to stop that."
Share June 28, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "My patent application is complete. Soon the other engineers will come sniffing around." Dilbert thinks, "They are attracted by the scent of success. They want their names on my patent." Wally, Alice and Ted peer into Dilbert's cubicle. Alice says to Wally and Ted, "The scent CAN'T be coming from here." Ted says, "We may be getting a false positive from his baloney sandwich." They all sniff the air.
Share June 29, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Add my name to your patent application to acknowledge my contribution." Dilbert asks, "What contribution?" Dilbert says, "You said it was a stupid idea by a stupid employee. You ordered me to stop working on it." The Boss says, "Devil's advocate!" Dilbert adds, "You also said I was ugly."
Share June 30, 1993's comic on:
Alice asks, "Dilbert, would you add my name to your patent application?" Dilbert asks, "Why should I?" Alice replies, "I would consider upgrading your status from 'co-worker' to 'friend I never see outside of work.'" Dilbert asks, "Would we eat lunch together?" Alice replies, "No, but I'll pencil you in and cancel at the last minute."
Share July 01, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "My patent will make fifty million dollars for the company, so I thought maybe you could afford to give me a raise." The Boss replies, "Unfortunately, the profit bucket is not connected to the budget bucket, so there's no money for a raise." Dilbert says, "I think some recognition of a job well-done is appropriate here." The Boss replies, "Thanks. It WAS one of my better excuses."
Share July 02, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert enters holding a piece of paper and says, "Dogbert, tell me if you think my illustration for tomorrow's presentation is clear." Dogbert looks at the illustration and says, "Ah, yes. You're saying the face of Elvis will appear on a credenza after being struck by lightning." Dilbert says, "That's supposed to be a video teleconference." Dogbert says, "I didn't know you could do that with a credenza."
Share July 03, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert stands next to an overhead projector. Dilbert puts a transparency on the projector and says, "Please excuse the artwork in this next diagram." Various people in the background say, "What's that? It looks like Elvis's face on a credenza! Ha ha ha! Or is it a Rorschach test??! Ha ha ha!" Dilbert says, "And in conclusion, I hate you all."