How To Comic Strips - Page 88
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1000 Results for How To
View 871 - 880 results for how-to comic strips. Discover the best "How To" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 17,
2005
Tags dilbert.com, owls for fuel, new suv, good idea, start breeding owls
Transcript
The Boss: My new SUV uses owls for fuel. It seemed like a good idea but now I can't find enough owls. Carol: "You'll have to start your own owls." The boss: "That's what I figured." The Hilarious conclusion to this comic has been deemed offensive, If you must know how it ends, go to dilbert.com
Friday May 20,
2005
Tags important, month to fisnish, last minute, unreasonable deadline, freaky part
Transcript
"Asok, this is important but you have month to finish it." Asok: "I'll start right away." Wally: "It's smarter to wait until the last minute and then make a big show of how harding you're woring to meet the unreasonable deadline." Asok: "You said that right in front of him." Wally: "It's still work that's the freaky part"
Wednesday May 25,
2005
Tags balancing work life, job anger, destablizie, crush urges, punch something, will want kids
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm having trouble balancing my work life and my personal life. How do you do it? Alice: "I use job anger to destabilize my hormonal blaance and crush any competing urges." "That reminds me I need to punch something today or I'll want to have kids."
Thursday May 26,
2005
Tags good advice, balance, personal life, zen approach, no freinds, no work, perfect balance, zen, faster
Transcript
Dilbert: "No one has any good advice on how I can balance my work with my personal life." Wally: "You didn't ask me." "I take the Zen approach of having no friends and doing no work. Hence, perfect balance." Dilbert: "Where did you get that definition of Zen?" wally: "I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."
Friday May 27,
2005
Tags wife and kids, exercising, eating right, sounds dangerous, defibrilator
Transcript
Dilbert: Milt you have a wife and kids. How do you find time to do everything you need to do? Milt: I had to give up a few things, such as exercising and eating healthy food. Dilbert: Thats sounds dangerous. Milt: Nah, The kids are trained to use the defibrillator.
Friday June 17,
2005
Tags batch of tiger meat, project, chanllenging, delight stockholders, not challenging, less motivated
Transcript
"I"m ready for a new batch of tiger meat. Grrr!" "I want a project that will challenge my abilities, bring glory to the company and delight our shareholders!" "How about this one?" "Nope. Not challenging enough. I'll give it to one of the less motivated employees."
Saturday June 18,
2005
Tags core values, integrity, value, honesty, excellence, inherent conflicts, fund na dpassionate, all of them, hygiene
Transcript
The Boss: "Our core values are service, intergrity, respect, teamwork, responsibility, trust, diversity, value, honesty, fun, passion, fairness and excellence." wally: "How should we deal with the inherent conflicts? I mean, what if I want to be irresponsible in a fun and passionate way?" The Boss: "You have to do all of them." "I notice that hygiene didn't make the list.
Thursday June 23,
2005
Tags ceo buzz, hire a big name, reputation, toughness
Transcript
Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "You need to hire a big name CEO to get some buzz." "You want someone with a reputation for toughness, whoc kinows how toget the most out of people." "Come back later. I'm still getting the most out of this one."
Friday June 24,
2005
Tags 100 million, dental plan, not effective, major corporation
Transcript
Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "How would you like to be the CEO of a major corporation?" "You'd be paid $100 million per year just for showing up." "I'd have to see the dental plan." "He's not very effective during the day."
Friday July 01,
2005
Tags failed ceo, worth 100 million, all reverse, head in glass, successful engineer, kind of funny
Transcript
RAtbert: You're a successful engineer and I'm a failed CEO. It's kind of funny that I'm worth $100 million and you're not. " It's funny because it's all reverse of how it should be." Dilbert: "It's funny because your head wouldn't normally fit inside a glass."

