Know Anything Comic Strips - Page 88

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Know Anything

View 871 - 880 results for know anything comic strips. Discover the best "Know Anything" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accused of punching, #crazy coworker, #defense, #less carzy, #list of employees, #further punching

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: "Alice, you've been accused of punching a crazy co-worker." Alice: "In my defense, it did make her less crazy." Catbert: "I know. Here's a list of additional crazy employees I'd like you to punch."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Did you know that loneliness can't be cured by listening to others? "You can only feel alive and whole when others are listening to you?" "What do you think of that?" "Think of what?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Everything you do is different from the way I would do it. "That's how I know you're doing everything wrong." "I wouldn't be making that face."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #eliminate dept, #what do we do, #explain things, #morons

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Our CEO wants to eliminate our department because he doesn't know what we do. "I need someone to tell me what we do so I can tell him." Dilbert: "We explain things to morons." The Boss: "Should I be writing this down?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources "I hired two people to work on your project." "One is a mumbler and the other one is hard of hearing but doesn't know it." "Mmmm, afterglow."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lifesaving, #office workers, #interns, #accident, #organs harvested, #to save intern

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I know it feels unimportant to be an intern to another intern, but if I ever get into a serious accident then... Coworker: I would step into your job? Asok: I was going to say your organs will be harvested to save me, but now you've made it awkward. Coworker: Sorry!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #average person, #offer low prices, #prices, #products on sale, #raising prices, #smart enough

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We're going to stop pretending our products are always on sale and instead offer low prices all the time. The average person is smart enough to know that our so-called sales prices are our normal prices anyway. Dilbert: Have you ever talked to an average person? Boss: Tell me again why we're raising all of our prices?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #fake 50%, #dumb customers, #smart shoppers, #$400 per hour, #freaking genius

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Dogbert: Your fake 50% sale prices make dumb customers feel like smart shoppers. CEO: Why am I paying you $400 an hour to tell me what I already know? Dogbert: Usually I charge $800 and hour. CEO: Yes! I'm a freakin' genius.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #low priority tasks, #rational being, #reward, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You keep spending time on low-priority tasks. Dilbert: That's because I'm a rational being. I only work on tasks that are likely to give me some sort of reward. Boss: I don't know how to deal with that. Dilbert: Have you tried managing?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #amphibians, #honesty, #inefficient, #design, #aquarium owner, #turtle, #filtration system

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This design would be inefficient. Coworker: How do you know that? Dilbert: Sometimes it's better if the aquarium owner doesn't explain to the turtle how the filtration system works.