Next Year Comic Strips - Page 88

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

881 Results for Next Year

View 871 - 880 results for next year comic strips. Discover the best "Next Year" comics from Dilbert.com.

Online Therapy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Online Therapy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, psychiatry, technology, online, therapy, video therapy, social, isolation, awkward, bored, people, hate, pretend, hand washing, carrier, deadly, pathogen, normal

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: billing for your video therapy session begins now. dilbert: i'm worried that all of my recent social isolation has changed me. therapist: how so? dilbert: well, a year ago, i felt awkward and bored around people, and that was bad enough. now i hate them so much that i only pretend to wash my hands. i guess i'm secretly hoping i'm a carrier for a deadly pathogen of some type. am i normal? therapist: i sure hope so because i do the same thing.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Remote Workers Do Not Mate

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Remote Workers Do Not Mate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appearance, dating, love & dating, walking, outdoors, dating app, woman, app, reproduction, inner qualities, goodbye, genes

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert walking outside. dogbert: they say most people meet their future mates at work. now that you are working from home, your odds of mating just turned negative. you could try using a dating app to find a woman, but then you'd need to rely on your looks. obviously, that's a dead end. your best chance of reproduction has always been to wear down a co-worker over several years. women need time to get over your appearance, and to appreciate your inner qualities. we should have a goodbye party for your genes. dilbert: maybe next time we could walk and not talk. dogbert: maybe.

Workplace Injuries

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Workplace Injuries - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, meeting, video call, workplace, injury, reduce, work from home, security, guard, hurt, back, steal, office equipment

View Transcript

Transcript

boss on video call. boss: i'm proud to announce we reduced workplace injuries by 76% this past year. voice from laptop: we all worked from home this year. shouldn't we have seen a 100% reduction? boss: our security guard kept hurting his back stealing office equipment.

Ceo Missing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Missing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, covid-19, managers & supervisors, technology, video call, ceo, pandemic, virus, lonely, zoom

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert on video call. dilbert: has anyone herd from our ceo since the pandemic started? voices from the laptop: maybe the virus got him. no. not me. next frame has ceo thinking in another location: well, it looks like another lonely day of looking for the zoom button.

Ted Is Great But Not Enough

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Is Great But Not Enough - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, comparison, managers & supervisors, performance, employment, exceptional, fired, universe, sense, complain, reverse psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ted, your performance this year has been exceptional. but everyone else was even better, so...you're fired. ted: in what universe does that even make sense? boss: you also complain too much.

Political Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Political Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brainwashed, business, harmony, messaging, opinions, partisan politics, platforms, political issues, underinformed

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert in meeting sitting next to wally and dilbert: catbert: our ceo has banned political talk on all employee messaging platforms. it's just as well because you're all brainwashed and underinformed, so your opinions are not worth the spittle that comes with them. panel shows office building. we hope this change will improve internal harmony.

Tina Misremembers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Misremembers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, cancel, communication, remember, text, message, confirm, trigger, cognitive dissonance, absurd, frogs, hooves, wrong, liar

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: why didn't you tell me you canceled the meeting?!! dilbert: i did. Tina: you absolutely did not. i would certainly remember if you did. dilbert: here are the text messages when i told you i canceled the meeting and you conformed. Alice in a daze. Dilbert: uh-oh. i seemed to have triggered cognitive dissonance. whatever you say next is likely to be an absurdity that allows you to be right when you are wrong. Tina: i told you frogs don't have hooves, but you insisted they did! admit you were wrong! i win you liar! dilbert thinking: this show never gets old.

Employee Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employee Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

10 Year Projection

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
10 Year Projection - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Five Year Forecast

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Five Year Forecast - Dilbert by Scott Adams