Nose Job Comic Strips - Page 88
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991 Results for Nose Job
View 871 - 880 results for nose job comic strips. Discover the best "Nose Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 31,
2016
Political Opinions Only Make It Worse
Tags intelligence, speaking, conversation, Politics
Transcript
Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.
Tuesday July 05,
2016
Wally Waits For People
Tags responsibility, laziness, work ethic, excuses
Transcript
Boss: You accomplished nothing this month. Wally: I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I believe it is your job to make sure those other people do their jobs. Boss: I guess I could talk to them. Wally: I'll wait for you to get back to me.
Thursday July 07,
2016
Pregnant Fly
Tags safety, accident, osha, hazard, work environment
Transcript
Ted: I was walking past the employee ping-pong table and took one in the eye. This is an unsafe work environment. Gaaa!!! A fly went up my nose! Catbert: It looked pregnant.
Friday July 08,
2016
Ted Has No Family
Tags human resources, judgement, deciding, business
Transcript
Catbert: Ted went on extended disability because a fly went up his nose and laid eggs. Boss: I want to be green, but I don't know if I should side with the fly or the employee in this situation. Catbert: Well, for what it's worth, Ted doesn't have a family, but the fly does.
Saturday July 09,
2016
Ted Has Fly Brain
Tags greeting card, sick, brain damage, marketing, advertising, mindless, business, medical
Transcript
Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.
Tuesday July 19,
2016
Boss Wears Virtual Reality Goggles
Tags vr, virtual reality, deception, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I convinced our boss to wear virtual reality goggles all day. Boss: Good job, Wally! I've never seen you work so many hours! Wally: reality is nice, but I find it limiting.
Monday September 05,
2016
Electric Car Business
Tags electric car, scam
Transcript
Boss: We're getting into the electric car business. Dilbert: Why? Boss: Because it sounds impressive and it will take years for anyone to figure out we did it wrong. We'll have new jobs by then. Dilbert: Did you just turn my job into a criminal conspiracy?
Sunday September 18,
2016
Tags executives, robot, technology, fairness, unfair, golden parachute, oblivioiusness
Transcript
CEO: The good news is that none of you will lose your jobs to robots. But a robot will take my job next week. I'll retire with an enormous severance package and live out my days in splendor. Meanwhile, the robot that takes my job will be working all of you to death. Robots are natural leaders because they don't care about your feelings. You will experience mental and physical misery on a scale the world hasn't seen since slavery was legal. But hey, it's better than losing your job to a robot. Am I right? Apparently, nothing makes them happy.
Sunday September 25,
2016
Tags mentor, mentorship, competition, honesty, truth
Transcript
Dilbert: I need some mentoring. Boss: This is awkward. On one hand, helping you would make me appear wise and generous. On the other hand, it would make you a more credible threat to take my job. I see you as more of an adversary than a subordinate. That's why I withhold vital information that you need to do your job. I've already said too much. Wally: Did you learn anything? Dilbert: Yes, unfortunately.
Thursday September 15,
2016
Tina's Soul Will Live On
Tags reincarnation, afterlife, faith, soul
Transcript
Tina: I hate my job, but I'm looking forward to my afterlife. Dilbert: Are you hearing good things about decomposing? Tina: My soul will live forever. Wally: Good luck. I lost mine at my first performance review.

