Patting Yourself On Back Comic Strips - Page 88

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

882 Results for Patting Yourself On Back

View 871 - 880 results for patting yourself on back comic strips. Discover the best "Patting Yourself On Back" comics from Dilbert.com.

Zoom Team Building

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Zoom Team Building - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, team, building, session, zoom, drink, heavy, home, absurd, gift, purchase, laptop, video call

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: on friday we'll be having a team building session on zoom. you are welcome to drink heavily because you will already be home. dilbert: i don't know how that could be more absurd. boss: and buy a gift for yourself.

Dick Tells A Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dick Tells A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, workplace, coworkers, people, gossip, malice, slander, pointless, pain, nemesis, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

dick: hi, i'm dick, your workplace nemesis. dilbert: i know who you are. dick: people are saying terrible things about you behind your back, but i can't tell you who they are or what they are saying. dilbert: what is the point of telling me that? dick: have i mentioned i feed on your pain.

Work From Home Or Office

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Work From Home Or Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, office, work from home, home, quit, shoot, dead, mistake, happiness

View Transcript

Transcript

boss on video call. boss: how many of you would prefer going back to work in the office instead of working at home? voices from laptop: i'd rather be dead. i quit. shoot me. boss walking in living room thinking: i knew it was a mistake to let them taste happiness.

Universe Preparing Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Universe Preparing Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, universe, preparing, problems, anger, laptop, hate

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking in from of laptop: uh-oh. i don't seem to have any actual problems today. the universe hates it when i have no problems. it must be preparing a big one. dilbert yelling: what's it gonna be this time, universe?! carol: i'll come back.

Elbonian Hackers Attack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Hackers Attack  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, elbonian, hackers, attack, stole, database, ranking, employee, haircuts, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: elbonian hackers stole our employee performance ranking database, and now they demand a ransom payment to give it back. boss: they can keep it. we've been ranking employees solely on their haircuts for years, and no one has complained yet. dilbert: what? boss walking away: we will speak of this no more.

Ted Will Train You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Will Train You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, training, absence, coffee, helpful, problem, successful, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job. panel changes to office building. dilbert: what if he isn't helpful? boss: then i'll fire you for failing. panel changes back in office: dilbert: do you see any problem with the approach? boss: no. it's worked for years.

Too Busy To Train

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Too Busy To Train - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, jobs, managers & supervisors, two, replacement, quit, death, stare, new, person, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i'm working two jobs since ted quit. maybe you could fire a replacement for ted. boss: that won't work because you're too busy to train a new person. panel changes building. voice from building: stop making that death stare and get back to your two jobs.

No Purpose

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Purpose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags beauty, deck, creation, water, hydrate, well-being, no friends, no purpose, better

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i just spent thirty minutes admiring the beauty of the slide deck i created yesterday. i'm going back for another round after i hydrate. voice from outside frame: what's it like having no friends and no purpose? dilbert: it's a lot better than you'd think.

Back From The Retreat

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.