Teach People Comic Strips - Page 88

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Teach People

View 871 - 880 results for teach people comic strips. Discover the best "Teach People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, you did the work of three people this year and earned the highest raise in the department!" "3%" FOOM! "What made you all cumulo-nimbus?" "3%"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I want to debate with people on the Internet but I worry that I'm not smart enough." "Maybe I'll just read what the smart people are saying." "Okay, I'm in."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I can't work with the smell of popcorn in the air. It makes me insane!" "I use it to mask the odors coming from my body. Choose your poison." "Refueling the Hindenburg?" "Why are people so mean?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I don't like to judge people by their looks, but I'm going to make an exception for you." "Something tells me that you and I will be butting heads." "I have a degree in marketing." "Why aren't your lips moving?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"We don't pay enough to attract qualified employees." "No problem. I'll hire unqualified people with good attitudes and train them." "Dilbert, when you get a second, train this guy." "Yay!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

You have a bad case of chair buttocks. "You can still live a normal life." "Assuming it's normal for people to point and laugh at you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2007's comic on:


Tags #dog senslved, #basement, #make running shoes, #eyes, #inexpensive, #footwear

View Transcript

Transcript

ELbonian: "Please help me. Your dog has enslaved my people in your basement and forced us to make running shoes!" Dilbert: "GAAA!!! MY EYES!!!" pssst "I like to help people, but I also like inexpensive footwear."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Yes, do that right away." "Do what?" "Can I ignore e-mail from people who don't include my original message in their reply?" "Yes, and you can hate them, too." "90% of happiness is picking the right ethicist."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2007's comic on:


Tags #simulation, #productivity, #workforce, #pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Run a simulation of our productivity if we lost half our workforce to a pandemic. Dilbert: "Should I assume we lose the productive people or the people who ask other people to run pandemic simulations?" The Boss: "Try both ways?" Dilbert: "Okay. I'm done."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2007's comic on:


Tags #senior engineer, #lead engineer, #pay is same, #disrespect you, #magic

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I'm promoting you from senior engineer to lead engineer. "The pay is the same but people will disrespect you less." Dilbert: "Including you?" The Boss: "It's not magic."