Toxic Work Place Comic Strips - Page 88

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Toxic Work Place

View 871 - 880 results for toxic work place comic strips. Discover the best "Toxic Work Place" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new offcie, #volunteered, #coordinate, #move, #cubicle assignment, #existence, #lord wally, #puppet master, #cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "We're moving to a new office across town. I volunteered to coordinate the move." Wally continues, "I control your cubicle assignment. Nay, your very existence. From now on you will refer to me as 'Lord Wally the Puppet Master.'" Dilbert says, "I don't think it's legal to enjoy your work this much." Wally waves his hands and says, "I banish you to the cubicle closest to your boss!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prison talk, #not prisoner, #own free will, #freak section

View Transcript

Transcript

A man with a shaved head peers over the wall into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Hey, buddy, what are you in for?" Dilbert answers angrily, "Unlike yourself, I am not a prisoner here. I CHOOSE to work here of my own free will!" Dilbert says, I LIKE to work." The prisoner says, "Great . . . I'm in the freak section."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #never answered email, #secretary out, #message on hardcopy, #out of paprus, #chiseled on pyramid, #ufos?

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert peers out of his cubicle and says to the Boss as he walks by, "You never answered my e-mail." The Boss says, "My secretary is out, so there's nobody to print my e-mail for me. Bring me your message on hardcopy." Dilbert enters the Boss's office holding a small pyramid and says, "I was out of papyrus so I chiseled my message on a little pyramid." The Boss thinks, "Did he work alone or were UFOs involved?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #salary deonds, #Opinion, #interest in understanding, #dogcart relations, #hype performance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the Boss, "My salary depends on your opinion of my work. But you have no interest in understanding what I do, so . . ." Dogbert enters carrying a briefcase. Dilbert gestures toward him and says, "I hired the Dogbert Public Relations Firm to hype my performance and get me a big raise." Dogbert hands the Boss a document and says, "Press release: engineer cures cancer while saving baby from burning building." The Boss says, "That's not in his objectives."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team building exercise, #paper dolls, #blindfolded, #cognitive dissonance, #learned something, #cry and hug

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and the Boss sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "In this team-building exercise you will make paper dolls while blindfolded." Dogbert continues, "This may seem absurd. But soon, cognitive dissonance will set in and you'll cry and hug and think you learned something." The members of the group, now blindfolded and working with scissors, begin their work. As he is about to cut his hand with the scissors, Dilbert asks, "Are you sure we'll cry and hug?" Dogbert answers, "Actually, hugging is iffy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #benchmark, #world class companies, #compare, #verbs, #nouns, #assign, #engineers, #field research, #pointy haired idioits

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I want you to benchmark these world-class companies. Find out how we compare." Alice responds, "I'm betting they don't make verbs out of nouns. And I'll bet they don't assign engineers to do field research." Alice talks on the phone in her office. She asks, "Do you guys have any pointy-haired idiots running your place? . . . Would you like one?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new dress policy, #allows casual clothes, #stick plunge, #friday, #only safe day, #policy stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on his couch and Dogbert perches on the backrest. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Our new dress policy at work allows casual clothes on Fridays." Dogbert responds, "That's good, because studies have shown that Fridays are the ONLY safe day to dress casually; any other day would cause a stock plunge." Dilbert asks, "Is it just me or is that policy stupid?" Dogbert says, "That's not an 'or' question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hire temp, #apply for job, #ratbert, #all of the respect, #unconditional love, #office and secretary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert stands on the desk. Dilbert says, "We're planning to hire a temp at work. You should apply for the job, Ratbert." Ratbert replies, "Wow! Me? A temp?!" Ratbert continues, "As a temp I would finally get all of the respect and unconditional love that I deserve!!" Dilbert thinks, "Danger: sharp learning curve ahead." Ratbert says, "I assume I'll get an office and a secretary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temporary employee, #blink and gone, #balance of power, #shifted

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits in a chair facing a desk. Ratbert says, "I submit myself as a candidate for the position of 'temporary employee.'" Ratbert continues, "I'm VERY temporary. First I'll be in one place and then you blink and I'm gone! Blink, gone, blink, gone, blink, gone . . ." The person behind the desk says, "Stop saying 'Blink, gone.' It's making me nuts." Ratbert replies, "It appears that the balance of power has shifted my way."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #increased my visibility, #invisible, #management, #known by all

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I significantly increased by visibility at work today, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Yesterday I was invisible to my management. But today I am known by all." Dogbert comments, "You screwed up, huh?" Dilbert responds, "Ooh yeah. Big time."