Search Results for "attend a meeting"
Share August 27, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people. Dilbert thinks, "I haven't spoken for this whole meeting." Dilbert thinks, "I'll wait for a quiet space and chime in with something that makes me look smart." The man next to Dilbert asks, "Does anybody have any unproductive yet insightful comments to show how smart they are?" Dilbert waves his hand and says, "Yo."
Share April 29, 1991's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Ask my secretary to schedule a meeting." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." Dilbert kneels in front of the secretary's desk and says, "Uh . . . Excuse me . . . Excuse me . . . Miss Cerberus, could a humble employee have the honor of your attention?" The secretary yells, "Are you prepared to take the challenge of death?!!" Dilbert asks, "Does this involve any winged monkeys?"
Share February 10, 1991's comic on:
The strip is titled, "Women's guide to avoiding Dilbert." The caption says, "Wear stereo headphones, look straight ahead and outrun him." Dilbert chases a jogger asking, "What's your name?" The woman ignores him. The caption says, "Comb your hair over your face to avoid accidental eye contact." Dilbert waves his hands at a woman but her hair covers her eyes. The caption says, "Travel in groups and make it clear you will dissect any man." A woman tells three other women, "I've noticed that all men have B.O. (body odor)." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The caption says, "Drive to and from secret destinations in fast cars." Dilbert watches a woman drive by in a sports car. He thinks, "I wonder where she lives?" The caption says, "Mention a boyfriend in every sentence." Dilbert says, "Nice weather." The woman replies, "My boyfriend likes weather." The caption says, "Never attend a ladies' night activity." Dilbert stands in a bar with three other men. He thinks, "No women . . . I wonder what tipped them off." The caption says, "Never give out your real phone number." Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "This only has three digits." The woman says, "Everybody knows me there."
Share January 26, 1991's comic on:
The Boss gestures toward an employee and says to Dilbert and another man, "I'd like to recognize Wilson for working twenty-hour days and making the project a success." The man says, "Thanks, but I'm not Wilson. He quit months ago." The Boss says, "Oh . . ." The Boss walks away thinking, "I've got to sop calling this the employee recognition program."
Share January 23, 1991's comic on:
Share January 22, 1991's comic on:
A man stands at a podium and says into the microphone, "Welcome to the 'Scientist Anti-Defamation League' weekly meeting." The man continues, "Tonight's topic is the stereotype that we scientists have no social lives . . . But first . . ." The man asks, "Is Saturday night okay for our next meeting?" Someone says, "I'm free." Another person says, "No problem." Another person says, "Wide open."
Share October 24, 1990's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, the staff meeting is over. Does anybody have any meaningless rambling questions? Johnson?" Johnson asks, "How can we work as a team to achieve total quality without sacrificing customer focus?" The Boss asks, "How many people would like to see me make Johnson fetch this stick?" Everyone raises their hands.
Share March 02, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert picks up the phone and says, "Hello?" A voice says, "This is your bank." The voice says, "We're having trouble meeting payroll . . . Could you come down and make some deposits right away?" Dilbert asks, "Will you take a check?" The person asks, "From YOU?"
Share January 04, 1990's comic on:
A man stands at a podium and a witch sits next to him on the stage. Dilbert sits in the audience. The man says, "Welcome to another meeting of the 'Skeptics Society.'" The man continues, "Tonight we will use scientific methods to debunk Edna Griffin's claim that she can turn an audience into a flock of chickens. We'll need some volunteers . . ." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Motion to adjourn . . ." The man next to Dilbert looks at his watch and says, "Whoa, look at the time!"
Share November 28, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "I'm enjoying the new informal approach at the White House." Dogbert continues, "I just hope it doesn't embarrass us in the international community." A White House aide stands in front of the President's desk next to Gumby. The President says, "Doggone it, I told you to set up a meeting with GORBY!" The aide thinks, "What's a Gorby?"