Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 89

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags discussion, ideas, meeting, originality, irrational thinking, optoistic, new prodcuts, faking optomisim, fake buy in, business

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Dilbert: ... and that's my suggestion for our next product. Alice: How do we know that ten other companies aren't working on the same idea. Dilbert: Well, that's always a possibility. Wally: There are seven billion people on Earth. I'll bet a million of them had this idea. Asok: It's irrational to think that any new product is likely to be a hit. On the other hand, we only get paid if we pretend to be optimistic about new products. Wally: All in favor of faking our optimism, raise your hands. Dilbert: All I could get was a fake buy-in. Boss: That's the only kind there is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, discrimination, Women, containment unit, steel vault, Men, co workers, job, condesending, freak out, death, business, medical

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CEO: Settle down, honey. I didn't ask for your opinion. I'm telling you what we're going to do. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Lower the containment unit! She's going to blow. CEO: When will it be safe? Dilbert: Right after you die.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business failures/bankruptcies, too big to fail, two pigs, flail, clever, demoralizing

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Boss: Are we too big to fail? CEO: Nope. We're more like two pigs that flail. Boss: That's clever, and yet demoralizing. CEO: You're welcome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, late, setting priorities, boss, meeting, excuse, conference table, coffee cup, apology, business

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Boss: Sorry I'm late. It's because the least important thing I do is way more important than all of you put together. One way to look at it is that I'm great at setting priorities.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, 8am, meeting, useful work, insulting, good time management, overlap, business

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Coworker: Can you come to my meeting at 8am tomorrow? Dilbert: No. I reserve the first few hours of every morning for useful work. Coworker: That feels like an insult. Dilbert: I call it good time management. There's a lot of overlap.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, employee parking, inconvenience, by design, personal errands, intention suffering

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Dilbert: The employee parking situation is terrible. I had to park a mile away. Catbert: That's by design. The inconvenience removes your temptation to run personal errands during the day. Dilbert: You're intentionally making my life more difficult? Catbert: What do you think management is?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, bad idea, email, hate, meeting, recommend changes, bed ideas, business

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Coworker: Did you see my email with all of my recommended changes to your product? Dilbert: Yes. Everything you suggested is a bad idea, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why. Coworker: Now I hate you. Dilbert: All roads headed in that directions. All I did was take the shortest one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags libertarianism, standards meeting, elbonia, legal, meeting, business

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Boss: Wally, I need you to attend a standards meeting in Elbonia. Wally: Heh, heh. A lot of things are legal in Elbonia that aren't legal here. Boss: Are any of you not libertarians? Wally: Heh, heh, heh.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, embarrass your compnay, etiquette & ethics, local debauchery, personal behavior, pollute ground water, pollution, reflect poorly, elbonia

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Wally: Where can I go to enjoy some of the local debauchery? Elbonian: Aren't you worried that your personal behavior will reflect poorly on your company? Wally: How can I embarrass a company that plans to pollute your groundwater? Elbonian: Say what? Wally in Elbonia

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags country, etiquette & ethics, meeting, mens restroom, sacred, sacred shrine, travel, elbonia, business

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Boss: How was your meeting in Elbonia? Wally: Awesome! Did you know that the most sacred shrine in Elbonia looks exactly like a men's restroom? Boss: No. Wally: Right. So don't blame me for not knowing.