Never Produced Anything Comic Strips - Page 89

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

897 Results for Never Produced Anything

View 881 - 890 results for never produced anything comic strips. Discover the best "Never Produced Anything" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Answers Phone In Bathroom

Thank you for voting.
Wally Answers Phone In Bathroom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #mobile phone

View Transcript

Transcript

carol: every time i try to call your mobile phone, you don't answer. wally: i only answer my phone when i'm in the bathroom. carol: i will never call you again. wally: it's time for office hours.

Blinking Tell

Thank you for voting.
Blinking Tell - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #spying, #elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i didn't believe you were a spy for the elbonian government until you denied it the wrong way. the boss: you were slow to speak, and you blinked. dilbert: that isn't evidence of anything. the boss yelling: you blinked again!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #email, #office workers, #project manager, #office, #liar, #photoshop

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: why are you telling everyone my project got canceled? dilbert: i never said anything like that. office worker: you're such a liar. i saw your email to ted. dilbert: if i show you that email right now, and it says nothing about your project... will you admit you were wrong and humbly apologize to me? office worker: i don't think i can commit to that. dilbert: well, anyway, here it is, and you can plainly see you were wrong. office worker: this looks photo-shopped. dilbert: i don't see a winning path for me here.

Worthless Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Worthless Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: i notice you didn't incorporate any of my suggestions in your final draft. ted: it's as if you are saying my ideas are worthless. dilbert: i would never say that. ted: so you're saying my ideas are good? dilbert: let's not reject ambiquity so quickly.

And Then Mark Said

Thank you for voting.
And Then Mark Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #anger, #business, #office, #office workers, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: ...and then mark said... dilbert: stop talking about mark! dilbert is visually angry. dilbert: all you do is talk about mark! i am so sick of mark. please talk about anything but mark. dilbert is still visually angry. tina: someone told me you'd say that. dilbert: was his name -- MARK? dilbert angry.

Never Stop Dreaming

Thank you for voting.
Never Stop Dreaming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Dilbert, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i printed out some inspirational slogans to motivate you. the boss: the first one is "never stop dreaming." wally: zzzz-zzzz.

Winners Never Quit

Thank you for voting.
Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #inspirational quotes

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

Website Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Website Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #website, #webpage

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: our website doesn't look anything like the one you asked me to approve. the boss: were you showing me a fake webpage so you could ignore my suggestions? dilbert: all of this could have been avoided if you had told me you planned to look at it.

Leadership And Guessing

Thank you for voting.
Leadership And Guessing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #coffee, #managers & supervisors, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

alice to the boss: one option is to use the old method that has never once worked, but we think we know how to make it work next time. alice: the other option is to try something new that we can't be sure will work. alice: it's almost as if leadership is nothing but guessing. the boss drinking coffee: let's change the subject.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #office, #raise, #project

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i can't give you a raise because you did not complete your project. dilbert: that's because you canceled my project for budget reasons and assigned me to work on another project. the boss: did you finish your new project? dilbert: you only recently assigned it to me. the boss: apparently, i keep giving you work, but you never complete any of it. dilbert visually distressed: that is a total distortion of what happened! dilbert: i can't reward you for having good intentions and finishing nothing! dilbert: why not wait and see now i do on my current project? the boss: we don't need that anymore.