One You Of Ten Comic Strips - Page 89

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for One You Of Ten

View 881 - 890 results for one you of ten comic strips. Discover the best "One You Of Ten" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #international sales call, #dress, #one level above customer, #cherub, #lighting bolt, #vatican, #overdress

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I need you to go on an international sales call." Dilbert asks, "How should I dress?" The Boss responds, "Salespeople should dress one level above the customer." Dilbert is dressed like God. He has a lightning bolt in one hand and a cherub staff in the other. He asks Dogbert, "What's better - the cherub or the lightning bolt?" Dogbert responds, "Take both. You can't overdress at the vatican."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales call, #vatican, #sales people, #worried

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, dressed as God, is seated on the plane next to a woman. He says, "It's because I'm making a sales call to the Vatican." Dilbert continues, "I'm told that salespeople should dress one level above their customers." The plane is viewed from the outside. A voice asks, "Aren't you worried?" Another voice responds, "About what?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worthless fat, #everyone participates

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "How can we eliminate $200,000 of worthless fat?" The Boss exclaims, "Wow! Every hand went up. I like it when everyone participates!" The Boss is sitting at his desk. He says to Catbert, "So it turns out that it's better when no one participates."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee of year, #awrd, #better luck, #next year, #jealousy, #unattractive

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands at a podium and says, "The 'Employee of the Year' Award goes to.. no one." The Boss' voice continues, "Thanks for coming. Better luck next year." Dilbert and Wally are walking out. Dilbert says, "It's not as bad as the time that you won it." Wally responds, "Jealousy is unattractive."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #value of merger, #large number, #marketing department, #frooglepoopillion

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "The company will be taking a one-time charge to write down the value of our merger." The Boss continues, "The number is so large that it has no name. Our marketing department is on it." A co-worker raises his hand and says, "Let's see a show of hands for 'Frooglepoopillion.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fooglepoopillion, #embarrased, #tell the truth, #best policy, #honesty, #what you say

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at home. He says to Dogbert, "My company lost a frooglepoopillion dollars. I'm embarrassed to tell people where I work." Dogbert responds, "Never be afraid to tell the truth about yourself." Dilbert asks, "Because honesty is the best policy?" Dogbert replies, "Because no one pays any attention to what you say."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #late worker, #coffee and bagel, #starts late, #woman, #worked 6am, #paid same, #smarter, #casual brillaince

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is walking past Alice's cubicle. Alice calls out, "You're coming to work at nine-thirty?" Alice walks over to Wally and says, "By the time you get your coffee and get your bagel, it'll be ten o'clock!" Alice continues, "I started at six! I've already worked for four hours, and I'll probably stay late!" Alice continues, "Over the course of a lifetime, I'll work twice as much as you!" Alice realizes, "But... we'll be paid the same... and we'll both die anyway." Alice continues, "So.. I guess what you're saying is that you're smarter than I am." Alice yells, "I curse the casual brilliance of your life strategy!!!" Wally walks away and thinks, "My bagel will be extra tasty today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #testing new invention, #mothers use telephone, #toddlers noise cancelation, #visual, #child, #moth frozen open, #change forever

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says into the telephone, "Thanks for testing my new invention." The woman on the other end of the line says, "If this thing works, it will forever change the way that mothers use the telephone." Dilbert says, "We've been on the phone for half a minute. The noise should start at any moment." The woman says, "Here it comes." A toddler walks into the room and yells, "Hey! What are you doing on the phone?!" The toddler continues yelling, "Can I eat ten cookies? I think my arm is broken! Where's my toy?!!" The toddler cries, "Waaaaaaaaa!!" On the other end of the line, Dilbert says, "Now push the toddler noise cancellation button." The toddler's mouth is still wide open, but no sound is coming out. The woman says, "It stopped the noise, but you need to do something about the visual."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new corporate code, #report immediately, #señor management, #ship prodcuts, #defective, #take care, #lying, #report you

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "If you see anyone violating the new corporate code of ethics, report it immediately." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "I'd like to report our senior management for telling us to ship products that we know are defective." The Boss responds, "Yes, I will take care of that." Dilbert waves one hand, points his finger at The Boss with the other, and says, "Oooh! Oooh! Lying!!! I report you!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #said to reporter, #technology is purtrid, #compensate, #ignore complaints, #witch hunt

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is holding a newspaper and looks panicked. He says to Catbert, "Look what one of our engineers said to a reporter!" Catbert reads, "Our technology is putrid, but we compensate by ignoring complaints." The Boss asks Catbert, "You know what would be more fun than fixing those problems?" Catbert exclaims, "Witch-hunt!!!"