Rich People Comic Strips - Page 89
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1000 Results for Rich People
View 881 - 890 results for rich people comic strips. Discover the best "Rich People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 10,
2012
Tags competition (psychology), fish & aquatic mammals, complaints, shark, doplphon, robot, patrol, waters
Transcript
Boss: I'm hearing some complaints that you built a robot shark to patrol the soc-called territorial waters around your cubicle. Alice: It's a robot dolphin. I can see how people might be confused. I need you to smile more. Shark: Whatever.
Thursday January 12,
2012
Tags gloating, rich people, leadership experts, brag about weath, comforatble
Transcript
Boss: Leadership experts say I should never brag about my wealth. Let's just say I'm "comfortable." So very, very comfortable. Alice: Yeah, this isn't working.
Sunday January 15,
2012
Tags big business, budget, contract employees, training budget, training, contractor budget
Transcript
Boss: Out budget for contact employees was eliminated. We'll have to pay you out of the training budget. So instead of doing the job yourself... you'll have to train Dilbert to do the job we're paying you to do. Dilbert: Why don't you just move some of the training budget to the contractor budget? Boss: If we reduce the training budget this year, we'll get less next year. Dilbert: So... you prefer paying two people to do the job of one? Boss: Right. Consultant: How do you stay in business? Boss: Our customers are even dumber than us.
Tuesday January 17,
2012
Tags actions & defenses, billion dollars, business ethics, golden key, rich people, top 1%, flying unicorn
Transcript
Boss: Here's a billion dollars to settle your claim of discrimination against short, bald, nearsighted guys. Wally: I'm in the top 1% now. I wonder where we hold our secret meetings. Boss: Ask the tiny flying unicorn with the golden key.
Wednesday January 18,
2012
Tags clubs, meetings, rich people, tiny flying unicron, commodities, 1% club, imagination, Entertainment
Transcript
Wally: A tiny flying unicorn gave me this key. Guard: Grab a snout and a hat. We're just about to manipulate the commodities market. Wally: Is it my imagination or everything a little bit better here?
Thursday January 19,
2012
Tags rich people, discrimination stellement, lazy, unscupulous, mirror
Transcript
Dilbert: I expected you to quit after you got your billion-dollar discrimination settlement. Wally: Just because I'm lazy and unscrupulous, why would you assume I'm also a quitter? Dilbert: I... um... Wally: I don't know how you look at yourself in the mirror.
Saturday January 21,
2012
Tags dating, rich people, top 1%, Women, sisters, hot, attraction, co worker, relationships
Transcript
Wally: Now that I'm a top one-percenter, I wonder what kind of women I'll attract. Do you have any sisters back home? I'm asking because you'd be totally hot if you were a woman. So I'm thinking hoo-ah! Asok: I cannot count the number of ways this is wrong.
Wednesday January 25,
2012
Tags business ethics, criticize, enjoy anticipation, fighting, incented, staff meeting
Transcript
Boss: I'm waiting for people to walk by so I can criticize you in front of others. Dilbert: What? Boss: I want the criticism to sting as much as possible so you'll be incented to do all the right things in the future. I guess it can wait until the staff meeting. Dilbert: That way I can enjoy the anticipation, too.
Tuesday February 07,
2012
Tags computers & peripherals, office equipment, email servers, inbox, vowels only, complain, loudest, complain to boss
Transcript
Dilbert: Ever since you moved our email servers to Transylbonia, my inbox has nothing but vowels. I.T. person: We I.T. people only respond to whoever complains loudest. You should complain to your bosss. Dilbert: I will! Boss' Computer: A ui aoe uie ou eai!
Friday February 10,
2012
Tags happiness, marriage, interpretation, annoying, soul mate, perceptive, psychology, relationships
Transcript
Tina: Someday, I want to get married because studies show that married people are happier. Dilbert: A smarter interpretation is that no one wants to marry an unhappy person. Tina: You're annoying. Dilbert: With any luck, your soul mate won't be perceptive.


