Tell Everything Comic Strips - Page 89

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View 881 - 890 results for tell everything comic strips. Discover the best "Tell Everything" comics from Dilbert.com.

More People Working At Home

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More People Working At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #office, #office workers

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Boss: The office is too quiet today. Carol: That's because more people are working from home. Boss: How can I do my job if I can't pop into people's cubicles and share my wisdom? Second question: why is everything running so smoothly lately?

Bad Analogy Guy Fits In

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Bad Analogy Guy Fits In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #insults, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Man: Hi. I'm the bad analogy guy. I can't tell the difference between thinking and simply being reminded of unrelated things. Wally: You'll fit in well here. Man: You dress like a liar.

Wally Monetizes His Pet Status

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Wally Monetizes His Pet Status - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe

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Carol: I hear you're our boss's new pet employee. Please don't tell him all of the bad things I have said about him behind his back. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you keep quiet. Wally: I knew I could monetize this.

Wally Has Higher Income

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Wally Has Higher Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe, #salary

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Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.

Agreeing With The Boss

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Agreeing With The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #climate change, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #agree

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Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!

The Inexperienced Employee.

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The Inexperienced Employee. - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #criticism, #employees, #insults, #office workers

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Man: Let me tell you how to do your job. You need to get all the vendors in the same room and insult them until they offer you discounts. Dilbert: That sounds super dumb. Man: That's what they said to Galileo old man.

Read The Manual

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Read The Manual - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology

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Dilbert: We need to fix our user interface because half of our users can't figure it out. Boss: Tell them to read the manual. Dilbert: That's not how you fix a bad user interface. Boss: Then why do manuals exist? Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be banging my head against a wall.

Parody Inversion Point

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Parody Inversion Point - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #government, #sarcasm, #parody, #business, #inversion, #reality, #absurd

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dilbert: according to my algorithm, we are heading toward a parody inversion point. that happens when reality becomes so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. dogbert: maybe the government can fix that dilbert alarmed: gaaa! i can't tell if you're serious!

Parody Or Real

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Parody Or Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #sarcasm, #technology, #boss, #business, #department, #proposal, #reality, #parody, #inversion

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dilbert: ever since the parody inversion, no one can tell the difference between jokes and reality boss: i need you to get buy-in on this proposal from all thirteen department heads by tomorrow wally: was that real or parody? dilbert: i think they're the same now

Lack Of Strategy

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Lack Of Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #strategy, #business, #company, #employees, #nothing

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dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?