Feel Like Progress Comic Strips - Page 89
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Share February 28, 2008's comic on:
Man: I realize you don't like the new information services approval policy. But I would appreciate it if you didn't build effigies of me out of coffee supplies." "Seriously. It's creeping me out." Alice: Heh heh heh!"
Share February 20, 2008's comic on:
The Boss: Our surveillance cameras caught you posting this antimanagement comic on the wall. This comic compares managers to drunken lemurs. Do you think drunken lemurs are like managers? Wally: No, some lemurs can hold their liquor."
Share February 13, 2008's comic on:
The Boss: I hired a consultant to help with our virtualization project because I don't trust employees with anything important. Dogbert: I will do the heavy thinking while each of you performs your usual duties as obstacles to progress. Dilbert: You said this is my project! Dogbert: I'll let him unplug something.
Share February 08, 2008's comic on:
The Boss: My new five-year plan looks like this. Plan Dilbert: How can you have a five-year plan when you don't know what will happen in five minutes? Ted: We have this room now. The Boss: Bad timing, Shoo! Shoo!"
Share February 03, 2008's comic on:
Dilmom: How is work Dilbert? Dilbert: Well, mom...I'm like a fly stuck in a thick tar of despair. Incompetence hangs in the air like the cold stench of death. I'm drowning, and monkeys dressed as lifeguards are throwing me anvils. My job has convinced me that life is a stale joke with no punch line. I long for the comfort of the grave. Dilmom: Next time just say 'it's fine. Dilbert: I enjoy our talks. Dilmom: It's fine.
Share February 01, 2008's comic on:
woman: do you have any hobbies?" Dilbert: I like to read obscure articles on the internet and image having friends who are interested in the same things. Woman: But you do have friends, right? Dilbert: Is it too late to change the subject?"
Share January 27, 2008's comic on:
Alice: Okay, we have a good plan forward. This meeting is adjourned. Oooh!!!" "AaaaH!!!" Asok: What is that?"AAAH!! Dilbert: She's tasting the sweet nectar of the illusion in progress. It's that euphoric feeling you get between the time you make a plan and the time some moron thwarts it. AAAH!!! It can last anywhere from less than a minute to as much as a minute. Wally: Ted won't meet with us because someone told him that you told someone else he was an obstacle. Alice: GRRRRR!!! Dilbert: The landing is harsh."
Share January 13, 2008's comic on:
The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to help Ted on his project. Dilbert: If Ted's project succeeds, who will get the credit? The Boss: Ted will. It's his project. Dilbert: What if it fails? The Boss: That would be your fault for not helping him enough. Dilbert: If I spend my time helping Ted, my own projects will suffer. The only way this makes sense is if my projects are unimportant and so am I. The Boss: If it makes you feel any better, Ted and his projects are unimportant too.
Share January 10, 2008's comic on:
The Boss: Tina, put together a document showing how our budget aligns with out priorities. Tina: It doesn't. The Boss: Write it so it seems like it does. Tina: Isn't that lying? The Boss: I call it leadership by words.
Share January 05, 2008's comic on:
Asok: Someone said our pointy-haired boss hired a mole. Moles creep me out. Dilbert: Mole is a figure of speech. It's not literally a mole. Asok: Why do I feel tiny eyes on the back of my neck?"