Big Business Comic Strips - Page 89

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, millennial employee, bureacracy, poor communication, task force, regular updates, business

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Boss: Our millennial employees keep quitting because of our bureaucracy and poor communication. CEO: Form three task forces to look into it. But don't tell any of the task forces that there are two others doing the same thing. Boss: Should I give you regular updates? CEO: Nah.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, screen savers, company logo, corporate rule, agenda, meeting, business

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Boss: First on the agenda, we're standardizing all screen savers to be our company logo. Second, our CEO is having a contest to see who can suggest the most useless corporate rule to eliminate. Wally: I nominate the nee screen-saver rule. Boss: You can't nominate that one. It's too new. Dilbert: Why does that matter? Isn't it better to kill it before it gets implemented? Boss: It's too soon! It's just too soon! Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Fine. Wally: I nominate whatever is next on the agenda.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, mergers & acquisitions, redendancy, hard work, fired, card board boxes

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Boss: Ted, the merger has made your job redundant. As a reward for your years of hard work, feel free to use one of our cardboard boxes to get your junk out of here. Uh-oh. It looks like we forgot to hide the good boxes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, public opinion, feel engaged, meeting, appearences, business

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CEO: Before I make my decision, I'd like to ask for your opinions. It's supposed to make you feel "engaged." Dilbert: And you actually plan to listen to us? CEO: I'm hoping it will look that way on the outside.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diseases, employees, frustration, new bad apple, joining project, full disclosure, totally contagious, immune, worms, business, medical

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Coworker: I'm the new bad apple. I'll be joining your project. In the interest of full disclosure, this is totally contagious. Wally: I'm immune, but not for reasons I'm proud of. Coworker: You must be Wally.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustration, worms, bad apple, ruining everyone, walk it off, contagious

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Dilbert: The bad apple you hired is ruining the rest of us. Boss: Just walk it off, you big baby. I want solutions, not problems. Ouch! Stupid bad apple! Dilbert: Walk it off.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, late, chronically late, pre meeting, trick, chronic lateness, power, selfish, bad attitude, business

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Dilbert: Let's meet before the project meeting to go over a few things. Coworker: Nice try. We chronically late people know when we're being played. Your pre-meeting is a trick to get me to show up on time for the real meeting. But that won't work because poor planning isn't the cause of my chronic lateness. I make people wait for me because I enjoy the power and I don't care about anyone's feelings. Dilbert: Fine. I'll see you at the project meeting at ten. Coworker: Nice try. I know the meeting is at 10:30. Dilbert: How do you keep a job? Coworker: That attitude is exactly why I don't like people.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, ad company, deceptive and abusive, mobile app, crying

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Boss: I hired the Dogbert Ad Company to build some deceptive and abusive ads for our mobile app. Dogbert: I prefer to call our ads "effective." It means the same thing. Our most effective ad looks like a text message from your doctor saying he can't stop crying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, managers & supervisors, reorganizing, overthinking, business

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CEO: I'm reorganizing the company and giving every manager a new job. Boss: Why? CEO: You're over-thinking it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, good leader, ego, great leaders, awesome, business

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Catbert: A good leader puts his team ahead of his own ego. Boss: What do great leaders do? I'm thinking it's the opposite, right? Catbert: They don't do what you just did. Boss: They don't be awesome?