Ceo Stepped Down Comic Strips - Page 89

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Ceo Stepped Down

View 881 - 890 results for ceo stepped down comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo Stepped Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #fire, #insurance, #luck, #sales

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob, the unluckiest insurance agent. Bob: Our hazard coverage is second to none! The Boss: Don't flee down the stairwell.The steps are made of asbestos.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I had a productive time at the management retreat." "We golfed as hard as we could until we came up with a new vision for the company!!!" "But no one wrote it down, so we're going to try again next month."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #forehead, #pasword, #wrote down, #forget, #123, #can't see, #asks, #memory, #foregtful, #skin, #ink

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "What does my forehead say?" "I keep forgetting my password, so I wrote it on my head." Dilbert: "Is your password 123?" The boss: "I just said I don't know."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart consults, #software has bugs, #repackaging, #rust inhibitor, #error messages, #people aren't stupid, #they are, #spit when type

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert and the Boss, "Your software product is riddled with bugs." Dogbert continues, "I recommend repackaging it as a rust inhibitor for computers." Dogbert says, "The ads will say 'you know it's working because of all the error messages'." Dilbert replies, "People aren't stupid." Dogbert answers, "According to my research they are." Dogbert shows a diagrahm of a human brain with each section labeled. The Boss replies, "I think the rust turned my exclamation upside down." Dilbert says, "That's the letter 'I'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diet guru, #fewer groceries, #last meal, #motivation, #murder, #stop eating, #threaten

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Diet Guru Dogcart: Try stuffing fewer groceries down your maw." "I was hoping you'd give me motivation. Stop eating or I'll kill you. The Boss: Would I get a last meal?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #estimates, #tax and shipping, #realx, #untight, #deep breath, #losing it

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do your estimates include tax and shipping? Tina: Relax, relax, calm down." "There's no need to go all nuts about the tax and shipping. It's under control. Take a deep breath." Dilbert: Um...All I asked was..." " Tina: Gaaa! You're totally losing it now!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I don't understand what your department does, so I decided to eliminate it." "What if I explain what we do? Would you change your mind?" "I see you're not a big fan of decisiveness."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #data werewolves, #elbonian hackers, #entrails, #linkedin, #passwords, #servers, #supernatural beings, #usernames

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac: Elbonian hackers stole a million usernames and passwords from our servers. So I send an army of data werewolves to track down the perpetrators and eat their entrails. Boss: How did you find an army of data werewolves? Mordac: LinkedIn

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #engineers, #framework, #allow construction, #large scale analytical queries, #unstructured data, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: So, what do you do for a living? Dilbert: I'm working on a framework to allow construction of large-scale analytical queries on unstructured data. Woman: I'm a little turned on by that. Dilbert: Settle down. It's just a framework.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confusion, #drank sewage, #happiness, #prototype, #untreated sewage, #water purification, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Let me tell you what kind of day I had at work. There was some confusion about my water purification prototype, and our CEO drank eight ounces of untreated sewage. Dogbert: So... best day ever? Dilbert: It'll be hard to top.