Company For Sale Comic Strips - Page 89

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889 Results for Company For Sale

View 881 - 889 results for company for sale comic strips. Discover the best "Company For Sale" comics from Dilbert.com.

Inexperienced Employee Advice

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Inexperienced Employee Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2019's comic on:

Tags #criticism, #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #sarcasm, #experience, #arrogant

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Man: Hi, I'm an inexperienced employee who tells experienced employees how to do their jobs. I compensate for my lack of experience with a thing called arrogance. Dilbert: That sounds worth-less. Man: Oh, yeah? Then why does every company have one of me?

Wally Covers For Boss

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Wally Covers For Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2019's comic on:

Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #motivation, #vacations

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Boss: I need you to fill in for me while I'm on vacation. I would have asked someone competent, but they're all on vacation next week, too. Please don't destroy the entire company. Wally: Do I seem that motivated?

Dilbert Is No Longer His Name

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Dilbert Is No Longer His Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2019's comic on:

Tags #boss, #gender, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #office workers, #respect, #salary

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Dilbert: My name used to be Dilbert, but my boss ordered me to identify as a woman. That way he can claim he pays men and women the same. Woman: I just lost all respect for your company. Dilbert: That was going to happen either way.

Performance Versus Pay

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Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2019's comic on:

Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

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Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

Lack Of Strategy

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Lack Of Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2019's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #strategy, #business, #company, #employees, #nothing

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dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?

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Time Travel By Printer

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Time Travel By Printer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #presentation, #technolgy, #molecular, #scan, #body, #brain, #time travel, #3d print, #meeting

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dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?

Not Humanly Possible

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Not Humanly Possible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2019's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #budget, #workflow, #procedure, #impossible, #useful

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boss: i can't approve your budget because you didn't follow the seventeen-step workflow procedure. dilbert: it is not humanly possible to follow the company workflow procedure and also accomplish anything useful. boss: would it help if i add a few steps? dilbert: yes, if you have to go back to your office to do it.

Feeling Loyal

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Feeling Loyal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2019's comic on:

Tags #doctor, #visit, #healthy, #pill, #work, #money, #hard work

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dilbert: lately i've been feeling loyal to my company. and that makes me work extra hard for no extra money. do you have a pill to keep me from working so hard? doctor: they all do that if you take enough of them.

Work Harder Than Others

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Work Harder Than Others - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2020's comic on:

Tags #motivation, #business, #employees, #managers, #work, #success

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boss: the only way to succeed in this company is by working harder than everyone else. alice: wouldn't that mean only one person in the company can be successful? boss: i might need to rethink my motivational messages. dilbert: maybe save those for your dumber employees.