Hired Back Comic Strips - Page 89

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View 881 - 890 results for hired back comic strips. Discover the best "Hired Back" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted Talks Might Take Your Job

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Ted Talks Might Take Your Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, social media, technology, instagram, ted talks, smart, moron

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boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.

Alice's Brain Is Full

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Alice's Brain Is Full - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, brain, full, memory, work

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boss: why aren't you working? alice: my brain is full. boss: i'll check back later. alice: i won't remember you.

Dilbert Hates Safety

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Dilbert Hates Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, safety, anger, yelling, statistics, flaw, authority, health

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dilbert: your method of calculating the safety statistics is flawed. monkey man: wow. wait until i tell everyone you don't think safety matters. dilbert: i...didn't say that. i'm talking about the way you measured it. monkey man yelling: it's too late to walk it back now! dilbert: i'm not "walking it back." i'm clarifying. monkey man: there's nothing to clarify, you hate safety. dilbert yelling and waving arms: stop putting words in my mouth!! i'm a better authority on what i think than you are!!! boss in hallway: what was all that yelling about? monkey man: dilbert thinks safety doesn't matter.

Social Distancing

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Social Distancing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, eighties, health, hug, managers & supervisors, practice, social distancing, virus, coronavirus

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boss with face mask: wally, i need you to practice "social distancing" until the virus risk has passed. wally: i already do that. i haven't hugged anyone since the eighties. boss: good job. high-five. wally: back off.

Human Walking This Way

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Human Walking This Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coronavirus, exercise, fish, health, human, social distancing, walking, water

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dilbert walking outside thinking: uh-oh. a human being is walking in my direction. dilbert jumping over wall into river: aaaagh!!! fish in water by dilbert: i need to ask you to back up six feet.

Carol Hoards

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Carol Hoards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health, office supplies, copy paper, hoarding, shortage, coronavirus

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dilbert wearing face mask: we're running low on copier paper. carol wearing face mask: i know. i hoarded it all at my house when someone said we might have a shortage. dilbert: can you bring some of it back? carol: that would defeat the point of hoarding.

Elbonian Spy

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Elbonian Spy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, face mask, coronavirus, spy, foreigner, data, security, racist, excuse

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boss wearing face mask: our data security team informs me we have an elbonian spy in our midst. dilbert wearing face mask: maybe it's this elbonian guy you hired. elbonian wearing face mask: whoa, that is super racist. dilbert: is it you? elbonian: yes, but i don't see how that excuses you.

Sciencesplainer New

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Sciencesplainer   New  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sarcasm, business, sciencesplainer, meetings, interrupt, condescending, science

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boss in meeting wearing face mask: i hired a sciencesplainer for our meetings. he'll interrupt us every ten minutes to explain, in a condescending way, how science works. dilbert wearing face mask: why do we need that? boss: it's just something we do.

Wally Borrows Money

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Wally Borrows Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags danger, health & safety, money, office workers, social distancing

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Wally: I heard you are not practicing social distancing. Can I borrow some money? CEO: What does social distancing have to do with borrowing money? Wally: I like borrowing money when I might not have to pay it back.

Factories No Buyers

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Factories No Buyers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, money, sarcasm, customers, poison

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Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.