Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 89
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993 Results for Job Interview
View 881 - 890 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 29,
2016
Bribing Wally
Tags bribe, morals, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?
Friday September 30,
2016
Wally Accepts Bribes
Tags bribe, bribery, money, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I started accepting bribes from co-workers to incent me to do my job. Dilbert: If it didn't work for your employer, why do they think it will work for them? Wally: Something about optimism. Dilbert: They didn't say why? Wally: All I know is that no one paid me to listen to them.
Monday October 03,
2016
Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted
Tags money, cost, fired, layoff, suggestion
Transcript
Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.
Thursday October 06,
2016
Tina Isn't An Engineer
Tags engineer, evaluation, value, catch-22, fired, termination, engineering
Transcript
Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.
Friday November 11,
2016
Nothing Else To Talk About
Tags personality, boring, bored, conversation, small talk, psychology
Transcript
Man: Do you want to know how we would have handled this situation at my old job? Dilbert: No. Dilbert: Nothing would interest me less. Man: My only other topics of conversation are my health problems and TV shows you haven't seen. Dilbert: I stand corrected.
Tuesday November 22,
2016
Car Rental Typing
Tags logic, efficiency, car rental, frustration
Transcript
Car Rental. Man: I hope you don't have some sort of technology job. Dilbert: Why? Man: Because the user experience you are about to endure might make your head explode. Narrator: Twenty minutes later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why do you need to type so much?!!! Man: We got an engineer!
Saturday December 03,
2016
Acting Interested In Dilbert
Tags managers, relationships, human, humanity, productivity, motivation
Transcript
Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!
Tuesday December 06,
2016
Ted Gets A New Phone
Saturday December 10,
2016
Cartoonist As Spokesperson
Tags spokesperson, embarrassment, celebrity, promoter, product
Transcript
Boss: We're looking for a celebrity spokesperson, but we don't have much budget for it. All we can afford is a cartoonist. Can you do the job for $75? Scott Adams: Deal! Boss: Have you ever done anything on social media that would embarrass us? Scott Adams: I thought that's what it's for.

