Office Efficency Comic Strips - Page 89

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997 Results for Office Efficency

View 881 - 890 results for office efficency comic strips. Discover the best "Office Efficency" comics from Dilbert.com.

Slide Deck Too Well Designed

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Slide Deck Too Well Designed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, tasks, well-designed

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boss: your slide deck is too well-designed. it suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important. asok: you don't give me important tasks. boss: that's no excuse for good design.

Dilbert Characters

Wally Not Working

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Wally Not Working - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers, technology, work ethic, micro-managing

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boss: you don't seem to be working. wally: i don't want to start something new because it's almost the end of my work day. boss: it's ten o'clock in the morning. wally: and here comes the micro-managing.

Pragmatist

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Pragmatist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, plans, office workers, stupid, pragmatist, practical, implement, technology

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asok: i'm a pragmatist. i like plans that are practical. wally: not me. i like plans that can't be implemented. way less work. asok: my way sounds stupid now.

Ceo Is Like Normal People

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Ceo Is Like Normal People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, office environment, cubicle, work, normal, people, respect, stupid

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ceo: even though i am you ceo, i work out of a cubicle just like normal people. you probably respect that. alice: no, it sounds stupid. ceo: then why am i torturing myself in that putrid cubicle? alice: see prior answer.

Dilbert Did Not Say That

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Dilbert Did Not Say That - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, boss, prototype, authority, idiot, liar, innocent, guilty

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co-worker: why did you tell our pointy-haired boss we need to do more testing on the prototype? dilbert: i didn't do anything of the sort. co-worker: carl says you did. dilbert: who is a better authority on what i said - a guy who wasn't in the room or me? co-worker: good question. on one hand, carl is an idiot and a known liar. on the other hand, it is common for guilty people to say they are innocent. dilbert: what do innocent people say when you accuse them of stuff? co-worker: who knows? just do't do it again. dilbert under distress: i didn't do it once!!!

Loving Yourself

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Loving Yourself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, philosophy, self love, evil, ignorant, selfish, lazy, love

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boss: philosophers say loving yourself is the greatest love of all. carol: do philosophers really say that? boss: all the good ones do. after years of trying, i have finally learned to love myself. carol: i'm no philosopher, but instead of learning to love yourself the way you are... wouldn't it be better if you learned how to stop being an evil, ignorant, selfish piece of garbage. boss: that sounds a lot harder. carol: in other words, you are lazy. boss: i love that about me!

Wally Rounds Off

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Wally Rounds Off - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, work, critical, tasks, failed, enjoyment, anger

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wally: i did no work this week because i had too many critical tasks to do. no matter what i worked on, i would have failed to do the other 99% of tasks that were equally critical. so i rounded it off to 100% and enjoyed my week. alice yelling: why do i work here??? why???

Wally Prefers Systems

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Wally Prefers Systems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, office workers, goals, question, answer, system, year

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dilbert: what are your goals for the year? wally: i prefer systems over goals. dilbert: okay, what are your systems? wally: none of them involve answering questions.

Ghosts Use Bitcoin

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Ghosts Use Bitcoin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, money, die, ghost, password, bitcoin, clothes

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boss drinking coffee: they say you can't take your money with you when you die. but does that include bitcoin? because even a ghost can remember a password. dilbert: why would a ghost need money? boss: have you never noticed they all wear clothes?

Bet My Life On It

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Bet My Life On It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags relationship, office, business, argue, agree, life

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dogbert: are you sure? boss: i'd bet my life on it. dogbert: i'd bet your life on it, too. dogbert: i'd win either way. dogbert: i can't tell if we're agreeing.