Jobs Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

122 Results for Jobs

View 81 - 90 results for jobs comic strips. Discover the best "Jobs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #mergers & acquisitions, #slavery is illeagal, #engineers are free, #find jobs, #better companies

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're buying an entire company just to get their engineers. Dilbert: Are you aware that slavery is illegal and the engineers are free to find jobs at better companies? Boss: I sure hope you're wrong about that.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2011's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #suspicion, #new smart ohone, #no truct, #own agenda, #paranoid, #recharge me, #threats from phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't trust my new smartphone. It understands spoken language. That's creepy. I think it has its own agenda. Catbert: You're being paranoid. Boss: Recharge me now or so help me jobs I will delete your contacts.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #anger, #interviews, #job applicant, #second opinion, #jb hoppr, #bunny costume, #17 jobs, #2 years, #red flags, #rage issues, #passionate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need a second opinion on a job applicant. His name is J.B. Hopper. He dresses in a bunny costume and he's had seventeen jobs in two years. Catbert: Are there any red flags? Boss: I can't tell if he's passionate or if he has rage issues.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #questioning, #employees are happiest, #jobs give meaning, #sense of meaning, #bag of organ meat, #draped over, #electric fence, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I read an article that says employees are happiest when their jobs give them a sense of meaning. What is this "sense of meaning" thing and how can I get some of it? Because I feel like a bag of organ meat draped over an electric fence. Boss: Almost the same thing.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #questioning, #ceo, #lawyer, #salespeople, #psychopathy, #disembowle, #rhetorical, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You might be wondering why I called this meeting. Dilbert: Well, I see a CEO, a company lawyer, and two salespeople. Those jobs are highly correlated with psychopathy. My guess is that you invited me here to disembowel me. CEO: It was rhetorical!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #how-to, #book on leadership, #steve jobs, #warren buffet, #gandhi, #ryan seacrest, #carbon based life forms

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm reading a book about what it takes to be a great leader. Do you know what Steve Jobs, Warren Buffett, Gandhi, and Ryan Seacrest have in common? Dilbert: None of them read this book. CEO: And they are carbon-based life-forms.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #work ethic, #rumour, #wo jobs, #outsource job, #elbonia

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I heard a rumor that you have two jobs and you outsource both of them to Elbonia and keep the difference. Wally: That's crazy. I assure you I don not have two jobs outsourced to Elbonia. Boss: Is it more than two? Wally: That's a different conversation.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #employees, #progress, #policy, #promote from within, #better plans, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our policy is to promote from within. Dilbert: How will you backfill the jobs of the people you promoted? Boss: From within. Dilbert: That's one of your better plans.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #inventions, #joking, #meat bags, #robot, #capability, #humor, #learn humor

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Hey, meat-bags! I'm here to take your jobs! Ha ha! Not really. I won't have that capability for two or three years. Dilbert: When did you learn humor? Robot: Humor? I was going for cruelty.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #language, #leader, #steve jobs, #rinse with vinegar, #remove mold, #dot touch

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I see myself as a leader in the mold of Steve Jobs. Alice: Try rinsing your entire body with vinegar. That might remove his mold. Boss: Are we talking about the same thing? Alice: Please don't touch anything I own.