Minutes Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

167 Results for Minutes

View 81 - 90 results for minutes comic strips. Discover the best "Minutes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

We've narrowed our target market to this guy. "He's the only one rich enough and stupid enough to buy our high-end product." "Our diamond-encrusted time machine will take you one hour into the future in only sixty minutes!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Question: If our new product takes you sixty minutes into the future in one hour... "Isn't that the same as doing nothing at all?" "It also makes you lose weight if you stay in it long enough...while not eating."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2005's comic on:


Tags #boss appt., #cancel later, #give appt, #combing his knuckles

View Transcript

Transcript

"I need five minutes on the pointy-haired boss' calendar." "No can do." "If I give you an appointment, I'll just have to cancel it later when something more important comes up." "What's he doing now?" "Combing his knuckles."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #misleading, #financial problems, #shady innocent people, #personal gain

View Transcript

Transcript

Our shareholders are suing us for misleading them about our financial problems. "Since when is it illegal to shaft innocent people for personal gain?" "Don't put that in the minutes." "I'll see what I can do."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #human rescources, #disgruntled, #bad management, #commute, #rationalizer, #employee, #commute is easy

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Ed, you seem disgruntled." "You need 30 minutes in the Employee Rationalizer." "I...I...don't mind bad management because...the commute is easy." "Better."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I can do this feasibility analysis in two minutes. "It's the worst idea in the world. Numbers don't lie." "Our CEO loves the idea." "Luckily assumptions do lie."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Would you like to buy a candy bar for my daughter's school fundraiser?" "No thanks. I'm not hungry." "That's not really the point." "Why would I buy an overpriced candy bar if I didn't plan on eating it right away?" "You'd do it because your coworker asked you to." "That's a reason?" "Yes, it is." "In that case, I'll take one." Five minutes later "Hey, coworker, would you like to buy a half-eaten candy bar?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Dilbert, I have a little project for you to do in your spare time." "What exactly is my 'spare time'?" "Well, for example, there's the time that normal people would use for dating." "And since you're not dating, you can trim a few minutes from your hygiene schedule too." "Then there's the time you spend daydreaming about a fulfilling life." "That's exactly like stealing from the company." "And your stupid questions - Those have to take at least an hour a day." "Are my questions stupid?" "Not as bad as your answers."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Our CEO only has five minutes. Is that enough time for your PowerPoint presentation? "No. An incomplete explanation of the situation will cause massively harmful strategic choices." "What can we get for four-and-a-half minutes?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2008's comic on:


Tags #five year plan, #five minutes, #office, #room, #conference room

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My new five-year plan looks like this. Plan Dilbert: How can you have a five-year plan when you don't know what will happen in five minutes? Ted: We have this room now. The Boss: Bad timing, Shoo! Shoo!"