Search Results for "bang head"
Share February 28, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "Dilbert, what did you accomplish this week?" Dilbert says, "I doubled my sales and made the cover of Time magazine." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Oh. Whoops. Sorry." Dilbert says, "For a moment there I confused my entrepreneurial fantasty life with my real job." Dilbert says, "I run a parallel career in my mind. In that world, I'm the founder of a hot start-up."B<R>Dilbert says, "It keeps my brain from fully realizing the horror of my actual career and trying to kill the rest of my body." Dilbert says, "But to answer you original question, this week I made some powerpoint slides that have no particular use." Dilbert says, "GAAA!!! My brain is trying to kill the rest of my body!" The Boss says, "Moving on..."
Share February 20, 2010's comic on:
Asok says, "The word on the street is that you can help me get my soul back." Garbage man says, "Souls are totally fungible. Use this shamwow to absorb someone else's soul while you suck on the other end." Asok thinks, "Why does this suddenly seem so wrong?"
Share December 02, 2009's comic on:
Dogbert says, "I'm stepping down as CEO because I already milked all of the cash out of the this dying cow." Dogbert says, "My replacement is a dried-up corpse. But don't worry; he's just a placeholder until a new CEO can be found." The Boss says, "The faint breeze is blowing away his head." Dogerbt says, "You should probably hurry."
Share November 24, 2009's comic on:
Dogbert says, "I decided to twitter because everything that pops into my head is fascinating." Dogbert says, "I don't have time to write entire sentences, so I'll just send out one word per day." Dogbert texts, "Riboflavin."
Share November 21, 2009's comic on:
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says ,"Employees are so important to me that our head of human resources will get a C-level title." Dogbert says, "Edna will be our CPO, or Chief People officer." Dogbert says ,"Take a seat over there by the chief artificial coffee creamer officer."
Share September 15, 2009's comic on:
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I can't tell if my pay is excessive enough." Dogbert says, "So I created a lab to test the reaction of hobos to my different pay scenarios." Wally says, "It's your turn to find the next hobo."
Share July 25, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "Tina, answer this customer complaint. And remembert, the customer is always an idiot." Tina says, "I think you mean the customer is always?um?oh my?" The boss says, "Quick! Pop your ears so your head doesn't explode!" Gurk!
Share May 21, 2009's comic on:
The MBA guy Man says, "I put together a spreadsheet that might interest you." The boss says, "Ow! Ow! It's so boring, it hurts my head!" The boss says, "My brain is trying to escape through my ear!" Man says, "I get this a lot."
Share March 20, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, ""Thanks for the suggestion. I will think about it and get back to you." Tina says, "Why do I have the feeling that you are actively forgetting my suggestion as I stand here?" Tina said, "Your head is where ideas go to die." The boss thinks, "I like pie."
Share January 09, 2009's comic on:
The Boss says, "Carol, send an e-mail to the department with my leadership thought of the day." Carol says, "What is it?" The Boss says, "I'm busy. Make up something." 'That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So please slap me in my fat, bald head.'