Second Sign Comic Strips - Page 9

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260 Results for Second Sign

View 81 - 90 results for second sign comic strips. Discover the best "Second Sign" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2006's comic on:


Tags #finance troll, #not in budeget, #eats employee, #prototype

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"And then we'll build a second prototype and..." "IT'S NOT IN THE BUDGET." "Oh, suddenly it's my fault for caring about the budget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2005's comic on:


Tags #web service satndards, #consortium, #approval review, #executive board, #review borad

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"We should join the industry consortium that's promoting web services standards." "Run that past the consortium approval review board and get a sign-off from the executive board of review board reviewers." "Do those exist?" "In a perfect world, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2005's comic on:


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"You will no longer have access to code on any server but your own." "Is it my imagination, or are all of our rules designed for the sole purpose of being huge inconveniences?" "And starting today, all passwords must contain letters, numbers, doodles, sign language and squirrel noises."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #wake up call, #^am, #bellmen, #head of bed, #blind maids, #pants, #manager, #five star hotel

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Five-Star Hotel The Boss: "I'd like a wake-up call at 6 a.m. and a second one at 6:15." "Then I'd like a team of bellmen to lift the head of the bed while blind maids hold my pants so I can slide into them." "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I AM a manager."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #slow computer, #uogarde, #cost benefit analysis, #vice president approval

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Dilbert: "My computer is too slow. I need to upgrade it." The Boss: "I need a cost benefit analysis including the cost of all alternatives, and vice president approval." Dilbert: "It was easier to get a second job and pay for the upgrade myself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #tech analyiss, #second opinion, #look stupid, #whistling, #accident, #distribute

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Dilbert: Heres the technical analysis that you ask for, I don't understand any of it. I can't tell if its right or if it would envbrass me. I can't ask for a second opinion with out looking stupid, and I can't distribute it because it might be wrong, I'll out it on this pile and hope something changes. I wonder of its called whistling when only amor comes out, Carol: Should I shred your pile of indecision, The Boss: make it link like an accident.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #berating, #humilation, #importance of work, #making sound rate products, #motivate staff, #no prasie, #no raises, #threats belittling, #trophy wives

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The boss; I need help motivating the staff. Catbert: what have you already tried? The Boss: Threats, belittling, humiliation, empty promises, berating, slogans , posters and bullying. Catbert: hmmm...we can't praise them or they'd as for raises. Catbert: Maybe they can be motivated by the importance of their work. The boss: their work is making second rate products to sell to idiots so our executives can afford trophy wives. Catbert: have you tried yelling until your face turns purple? The boss> make three copies, please!!!! Carol: This is new.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #poorly designed product, #ever been killed, #tainted research

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"This is the Dogbert research company. Have you ever been killed by a poorly designed product?" "My tainted research shows that your products haven't killed anyone." "For an extra $50,000, I can call a second person." "I don't want to jinx it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #ytransferred, #new job, #secretary job eliminated, #masive incompetence, #resentment, #anger, #splitting mad, #offers new job

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The Boss: "Carol, two things: First, I got transferred to a new job, and that means your job here is eliminated." Carol: "Why must I suffer for your massive incompetence? You worthless pile of stinking crud!" "And the second thing?" The boss: "I'll need a secretary at the new job."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #concierge, #hotel, #slave, #do naything, #oo much, #donate kidney, #kiss up, #over trained, #give pay

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Concierge: "Welcome to the Metrogarden hotel! How may I make your stay incredible?" "I would be delighted to iron your socks, examine you for suspicious moles or take a second job and give you my pay." Dilbert: "I think they over-trained you." "I'm shaved and preped to donate a kidney."