Search Results for "add much"
Share December 15, 2011's comic on:
Boss: We told our Elbonian factory to be more green, so they turned off their AC units. The heat caused the elastic bands in their hats to stretch until their eyes were covered. And that's why we'll miss our ship date. CEO: They say you shouldn't shoot the messenger, but no one warns you how much you'll want to.
Share December 22, 2011's comic on:
Ratbert: I'm staging a peaceful protest against your greed and corruption. Dogbert: Do you have a permit to protest here? Ratbert: No. How much do they cost? I'm winning this, right?
Share December 24, 2011's comic on:
Boss: I need you to come with me on a sales trip, but don't talk to the customer. Your presence is needed to give a misleading impression of how much engineering support we plan to offer after the sale. Dilbert: So I'm nothing but a bag of meat? Boss: No. You're a lying bag of meat.
Share January 02, 2012's comic on:
Man: Your lobbyist said I could have a lucrative job here someday if I support tax breaks for your company. I have offers from other bribers, so I thought I'd stop by and see how this dump compares. Dilbert: Suddenly I know too much. Man: Fetch me some coffee and I'll make your birthday a holiday.
Share January 25, 2012's comic on:
Boss: I'm waiting for people to walk by so I can criticize you in front of others. Dilbert: What? Boss: I want the criticism to sting as much as possible so you'll be incented to do all the right things in the future. I guess it can wait until the staff meeting. Dilbert: That way I can enjoy the anticipation, too.
Share January 26, 2012's comic on:
Boss: I'd like to begin the meeting by giving Dilbert some destructive criticism. Everything you do is dumb. I don't know why I hired you. I feel much more motivated now. If you feel a little bit worse, we came out ahead as a team.
Share January 30, 2012's comic on:
Alice: You should ask Ed about this. Carol: Is Ed the dumb guy who talks too much or the liar with the bad breath? Alice: He's the braggart with large pores and a combover. Dilbert: Wow. How do you describe me behind my back? Carol: You're the insecure guy who steers the conversation to himself.
Share March 27, 2012's comic on:
Wally: I'm escaping the mental prison of this job by creating apps in my mind and fantasizing about running a start-up. Gaaa!!! The start-up is too much work! The stress is killing me! Take me back to my prison! I'm back. Did I say anything embarrassing? Dilbert: It's all relative.
Share April 16, 2012's comic on:
Boss: The stock market is up today. I wonder if this is a good time to get in. Dilbert: If you wait until it goes up even further, then you'll know it's a good investment. Wally: Are you still bitter about your last raise? Dilbert: Not as much as I was a minute ago.
Share July 12, 1989's comic on:
Dogbert holds up a newspaper and says to Dilbert, "Look! I've created the world's first completely reusable newspaper." Dilbert reads from the newspaper, "Pope denounces violence . . . Home prices rise . . . Unrest in the Mideast . . ." Dogbert says, "Generic news!" Dilbert reaches into his pocket and asks, "How much?" Dogbert holds out his paw and says, "A thousand bucks. You'll never need another one."