Dont Think Comic Strips - Page 9

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1000 Results for Dont Think

View 81 - 90 results for dont think comic strips. Discover the best "Dont Think" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2014's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #origin story, #company, #need, #various things, #clear, #boss, #request, #office, #request secretary, #write up story, #business

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Boss; Tina, I need you to write a company "Origin Story." All the cool companies have them. Tina: Why? Boss: Why? Well, for starters, we need it for various things and so on. I don't think I can be any clearer. Tina: I don't think you can, either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #work ethic, #personal lifestley engineer, #career advice, #work and leisure, #hours per week, #ideal means

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Woman: What kind of engineer are you? Wally: I'm a personal lifestyle engineer. I engineer my career to achieve an ideal balance of work and leisure. Woman: How many hours per week do you work? Wally: I don't think you know what "ideal" means.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2014's comic on:


Tags #egyptians, #engineers, #human resources, #pyramids, #pharoahs, #secrets, #reschedule, #meeting, #historically accurate, #new policy, #business

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Catbert: Egyptian pharaohs killed the engineers who build their pyramids so they would never share their secrets. Dilbert: No... I don't think they did. Catbert: Really? Dang! Can we reschedule this meeting until I find a historically accurate explanation of our new policy?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #criticism, #perfection, #psychological disorder, #psychological evaluation, #perfectionist, #warning, #not a problem, #cognitive dissonance, #unrealistic optimism, #projection bias, #jerk, #anger issues

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Coworker: I should warn you that I'm a perfectionist. Dilbert: I appreciate the warning. Do you have any other psychological problems or just the one? Coworker: I don't think of it as a "problem." Dilbert: I guess that's what makes it so bad. I see a lot of other psychological problems in your writing. Cognitive dissonance, unrealistic optimism, and some projection bias. But I can see why you think your perfectionism is the worst part. Coworker: You're a jerk. Dilbert: ...and here come the anger issues.

Learning To Avoid Responsibility

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Learning To Avoid Responsibility - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mentoring, #mentor, #mentors, #protege, #criticism, #responsibility, #Advice

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CEO: No matter how much I mentor you, you still act the same. Wally: That's because you're a terrible mentor. You owe me an apology for wasting my time. CEO: I don't think the problem is on my end. Wally: Are you teaching me how to avoid taking responsibility?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #unemployment, #replacement, #obsolete, #app, #job, #jobs, #dating, #logic, #business, #relationships

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Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

Carol Leaves Kids

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Carol Leaves Kids - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #babysitter, #children, #supervision, #date night, #parents, #Family

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Carol: Dilbert should be here soon to fill in for the babysitter. Your dad and I need to leave now. Just let him in. We turned off our phones, so don't try to reach us on our date night. Narrator: Two hours later. Boy: I don't think he's coming. Girl: I say we Airbnb this place.

False Sense Of Urgency

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False Sense Of Urgency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #guest artist, #managers, #motivation, #personality disorder, #sociopath, #strategy, #john glynn

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Boss: I don't think I'm doing enough to create a false sense of urgency. Catbert: Are you still a sociopath? Boss: That's the easy part. Catbert: Now add a meaningless deadline and some fear.

Try Not Being Boring

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Try Not Being Boring - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #inspiration, #frustration, #bored, #boring, #powerpoint, #meeting, #obliviousness, #eric scott, #business

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CEO: I don't think my motivational messages are getting through to the employees. I can't make them pay attention to anything. Catbert: Have you tried not being boring? CEO: Good idea. I'll make fifty slides of pure excitement.

Wally And Gandhi Have Lots In Common

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Wally And Gandhi Have Lots In Common - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #gandhi, #comparison, #coffee, #greatness, #achievement

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Wally: Have you ever noticed how much I have in common with Gandhi? We're both little bald guys who think India should be self-governing. Dilbert: I don't think he drank coffee. Wally: Imagine what he could have accomplished if he did.