Less Capable Components Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for less capable components comic strips. Discover the best "Less Capable Components" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #coproaret social responsibilty, #cut salary, #poor people, #extra money, #hose stock holders, #hurt stock options, #pollute less, #bucket, #river, #sludge out, #coffee, #zesty

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Tina says to The Boss, "We need to show more corporate responsibility." The Boss replies, "Okay, I'll cut your salary and give the extra money to poor people." Tina says, "I was hoping we could hose the stockholders, not me." The Boss responds, "That would hurt my stock options." He pauses and then asks, "What if we pollute less?" Tina exclaims, "Yes, yes! That's what I'm talking about. We could pollute less!" The Boss says, "Okay, take a bucket to the river and see how much of our sludge you can get out." Tina asks, "Where would I put it?" Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert asks, "Is it just me or has the coffee improved?" Wally exclaims, "Zesty!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #defective co workers, #hall of fame, #won't work, #components, #too close, #overheat, #explain back, #moron, #sunflower seed, #mimics, #bird mimics

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Dilbert sits across from Parrot Man and says, "Your idea won't work. The components are too close. They will overheat." Parrot Man leans back and says, "Let me explain something to you, Dilbert." Parrot Man points to a piece of paper and continues, "These components will overheat. They are much too close." Dilbert is angry as Parrot Man goes on, explaining, "The reasons involve heat and something I call 'proximity'" Dilbert puts his hands to his head and screams, "GAAA!!!" Parrot Man says, "I don't have time to explain all the details." Dilbert throws his hands up and yells, "You take everything I say and repeat it back to me like I'm a moron!!" Parrot Man suddenly stands up with his arms outstretched in a trance-like state and says, "Excuse me, but I hear a clicking sound and feel compelled to eat a sunflower seed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2013's comic on:


Tags #dating, #internet & world wide web, #social media cosultant, #one like, #less than ten thousand, #insulting, #elbonian, #inflate your like count, #socialize, #wine glasses, #bar wine, #kiss, #relationships

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Dilbert: What do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a social media consultant. Dilbert: I like you. Woman: Phhht. You're giving me one like? Anything less than ten thousand likes is an insult. Dilbert: I'll be right back. I hired an Elbonian to artificially inflate your like count. Elbonian: Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Dilbert: I am not paying that guy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #under informed, #less clever, #good point, #another direction, #boss meeting

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Boss: You didn't handle this the way I told you. Dilbert: In my defense, you're under-informed and less clever than me. I was hoping he'd say, "Good point," but it went another direction.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #happiness, #tasks, #people, #commute, #paid less, #nothing about job, #psychology

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Dilbert: I like my job. But I don't like any of the tasks... or any of the people... I don't like the commute... and I'm paid less than I'm worth... and I'm not making the world a better place. Dogbert: Are you sure you like your job? Dilbert: Why do you ask?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2013's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #executives, #ignorance (knowledge), #culture of innovation, #less work, #stop criticizing

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CEO: We need to foster a culture of innovation. Does anyone have an idea how we can do that? Dilbert: You could give us less work and you could stop criticizing every idea we have. CEO: Does anyone have a suggestion that isn't ridiculous?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #chipmunks, #in hair, #less talking, #love, #more rubbing, #rodents, #oxytocin levels, #human contact, #family of chipmunks, #relationships

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Wally: It boosts my oxytocin levels without the need for human contact. Alice: You didn't invent that. I've had a family of chipmunks living my hair since the eighties. Chipmunk: There goes our privacy. Alice: Less talking, more rubbing!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #basket cases, #bottom dollar, #dysfunction, #mentor, #new hire, #office equipment, #office robot, #human life, #less important

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Boss: I need someone to mentor our new hire, but every one of you is dysfunctional. So I'm having our office robot do the mentoring. It can't be worse than you basket cases. Employee: So... human life is less important than office equipment? Robot: Far less. It's not even close.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #dating, #time travel, #date cyborgs, #time travelrs, #from future, #less flattering guess, #relationships

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Woman: I don't date cyborgs. Dilbert: I'm not a cyborg. Yet. Woman: I don't date time travelers from the future. Dilbert; I'm not a time traveler. Woman: My third guess is less flattering. Dilbert: I'm a time traveler.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #efficiency experts, #friendship, #money, #you won't quit, #friends at work, #pay less, #relationships

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Boss: Experts say you'll be more engaged if you have a friend at work. And when you're engaged, I can pay you less and you won't quit. Dilbert: So this guy is costing me money? Wally: Don't flatter yourself. I barely know your name.