Open Jars Comic Strips - Page 9

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150 Results for Open Jars

View 81 - 90 results for open jars comic strips. Discover the best "Open Jars" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 1998's comic on:


Tags #men 25% more pay, #math skills, #praise for math skills, #33% more

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Tina the tech writer points to an open magazine on the table and says, "This article says men are paid 25% more than women. How do you explain that?" Dilbert and Wally stare. Wally picks up the magazine. The cover features a woman and the title "Estro." Wally says, "Actually, it says women make 75} for every dollar that men make. That's 33% more for men." Tina crosses her arms and frowns. Wally says, "I suppose there's almost no chance you'll praise me for my math skills right now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #low priced consultant, #reasonably priced, #roll around hamburger patties

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The Boss and Wally sitting at table. The Boss says I saved a lot of money by hiring a low-priced consultant." The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "These aren't the best recommendations in the world, but the price was very resasonable." Asok the Intern, Dilbert, Wally peruse the recommendations. Asok says, "I don't like this one about rolling around on unwashed hamburger patties." The Boss says, "Keep an open mind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #technical skills, #marketing, #valaubale, #ire, #balled up paper, #cheerleader squad, #business

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Wally, Carol, and Ted sitting at a table. Wally says, "Unlike you people in Marketing, I have highly sought technical skills." Carol looking at Wally while he says, "I'm too valuable to fire. So from now on, I'll deliver my project status on a balled-up piece of paper." Carol growls with her arms folded, "Grrr." Wally asks, "Is the cheerleader squad ready?" as he is about to flick a crumbled piece of paper into Ted's open arms (table hockey).

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 1998's comic on:


Tags #drug treatment program, #drug problem, #childproof container

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Dilbert, Wally, and The Boss sitting at table. While holding a document, The Boss says, "No one in my division is using the company drug treatment program. This is very embarassing." The Boss continues, "My boss will think I'm not managing the drug problem. Don't ANY of you have a drug problem?" Alice, sitting next to Dilbert and Wally, struggles to open a pill container. She exclaims in a frustrated manner, "#!*% Childproof 'Midol' container!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Wally, #alice, #communication, #management, #office culture

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The Boss tells Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "What we need is more communication between management and . . . Whatever you are." The Boss continues, "So, once a month I'll have 'open door day.'" The Boss explains, "You can drop by and whine about anything you want." The Boss continues, "I'll listen with a concerned expression like this." The Boss continues, "Then I'll explain why everything is fine just the way it is." The Boss continues, "Then, morale will improve, profits will skyrocket and my stock options will make me RICH!! Dilbert says, "May I make some observations about your plan?" Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Forget it." The Boss asks, "Do you notice how concerned I look?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 1998's comic on:


Tags #sabotaged, #global conspiracy, #plant misspelled work, #spell checker, #webster

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Tina the tech writer sits at her computer. Tina says, "What the...? I've been sabotaged!" Tina stands with her arms crossed behind Wally. Wally says, "No, I'm not part of a global conspiracy to plant a misspelled word in your "spell checker". Tina holds an open dictionary. Tina says, "GASP! They got to Webster too!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #hate your plan, #real plan, #opposite, #nice worm, #offers worms

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Dilbert stands in front of a room full of angry people. The people shout, "We hate your plan!!!" Dilbert stands next to the overhead projector an points to the wall onto which "Real Plan" has been projected. Dilbert says, "Good, because the REAL plan is the opposite of what I just showed you." The people remain with their mouths wide open. Dilbert holds a worm. Dilbert says, "Who wants a nice worm?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #set up date, #super model, #scary looking, #skeleton, #dogbert warns dilbert

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Dogbert sits on the couch reading a book. Dilbert says, "I set up a date with the supermodel I met on the internet." Dogbert says, "Supermodels don't look good in person." Dilbert says, "That's silly." Dilbert stands at the supermodels open door. Dilbert holds flowers. The supermodel is a skeleton with a little hair. The supermodel says, "I don't know how to use a vase. Do you mind if I throw those in the trash?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #new engineer, #sarcasm, #shows around, #telephone, #cubicle, #hallway, #every foot staep, #bad points, #office tour, #crazy, #bad conditions, #employement

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The Boss: "Laurie's our new engineer. Show her the ropes, Dilbert." "I meant figuratively." Dilbert: "This is your anti-productivity pod." "It's equipped with a little device that rings anytime you try to concentrate." "The top is open so none of the background noise is inadvertently muffled." "And you're on the main aisle, so you'll be haunted every minute by footsteps behind you. Step...step...step." The Boss: "We need to talk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dilbert needs staples, #asks secreatry, #need order number, #supply catalog, #wally borrowed, #wally needs help, #alice needs meeting, #new vendor, #almost stapled

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Dilbert asks a secretary, "Helen, do you have any staples in the supply cabinet?" Helen replies, "No, I only stock the basics: cheap pens with green ink, big jars of glue and ribbons for obsolete printers." Dilbert asks, "Could you order some staples?" Helen says, "You need to give me the order number." Dilbert says, "Okay. Can I see your supply catalog?" Helen replies, "Wally borrowed it." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs. The phone rings and Helen says, "I'd better get that; it might be personal." Dilbert stands in the doorway and says, "Wally, do you have the . . ." Wally interrupts, "I need your help with this. Pull up a chair." Alice appears and says, "I need both of you to come talk to a vendor that we'll never use." Dilbert arrives at home and tells Dogbert, "Thanks to teamwork, I almost stapled something today." Dogbert says, "I'm so proud to know you."