Pointy Haired Imbecile Comic Strips - Page 9

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118 Results for Pointy Haired Imbecile

View 81 - 90 results for pointy haired imbecile comic strips. Discover the best "Pointy Haired Imbecile" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2014's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #frustration, #inventions, #no sense, #standard turing test, #upset, #company strategy

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Dilbert: My software can't pass a standard Turing test yet, but it does pass the pointy-haired boss test. Computer, I have a question about our company strategy. Computer: Try working smarter. Dilbert: That doesn't even make sense! CEO: I wasn't prepared to like it, but you won me over.

The Evil Robot Business

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The Evil Robot Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #ceo, #evil, #executives, #robot, #sell robots, #manipulate owners, #titanium bolts

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Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.

Carol Overschedules

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Carol Overschedules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #useless, #laziness, #work ethic, #ignorance, #trying, #effort, #club

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Carol: I understand you better than the others because I'm useless, too. Wally: I always thought you were trying to kill our pointy-haired boss by overscheduling him. Carol: I am. It just hasn't worked yet. Wally: That's not good enough to get into the useless club.

Alice Gives Approval

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Alice Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #deal, #support, #negotiations

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Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to get everyone's buy-in on this. Alice: I'll agree to your stupid idea if you support my great idea later. Dilbert: Deal. Alice: Should I read it? Dilbert: I don't see why.

Asok Uses An Algorithm

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Asok Uses An Algorithm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #cubicle, #popularity, #algorithm, #decision

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Asok: After the office redesign, you will be in the cubicle nearest our pointy-haired boss. Man: How did you decide on that? Asok: I used an algorithm. Man: Is the algorithm that you hate me? Asok: And you have never studied martial arts.

Murder By Car

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Murder By Car   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2018's comic on:


Tags #self-driving cars, #technology, #murder, #invention

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Wally: The pointy-haired boss is testing our self-driving car prototype. Hey, didn't you write the operating system for that prototype? Dilbert: Yes. Wally: Hypothetically, could you murder him from a distance? Dilbert: We shouldn't have this conversation. Narrator: Continued.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #insurance, #humiliation, #death, #scam, #darwin awards, #spin, #headline, #media, #Entertainment, #medical

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Dogbert: Would you like to buy an insurance policy to protect against a humorous death? Boss: Why would I need it? Dogbert: well, let's say you're at the zoo and you drop your sunglasses into the lion pit. You lower yourself into the pit to get the sunglasses, but the lions get to you first. You don't want the headlines to read "Pointy-haired Idiot Mauled To Death By The King Of The Jungle." So instead, the moment you die, my agents rush in to create a narrative for the media. In this case, we might spin the story as "Local Man Teaches Zoo How To Reduce Food Costs." Boss: Are the policies affordable? Dogbert: Yes, if you waive the coverage for mascot-related deaths.

Dilbert Offers To Help

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Dilbert Offers To Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #help, #project, #sucker, #woman employee

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Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to help you on your project. Woman Employee: Yes!! My dream of getting paid while other people do my work is becoming a reality! Dilbert: I might have played this wrong. Woman employee: Sucker!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #server named pointy, #over loaded, #moving, #haired and idiot, #cluless, #purchase order

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Dilbert says to the Boss pointing to the diagraphn he's drawn on the board, "Our server named 'Pointy' is overloaded." Dilbert continues, "So we're moving some of the load to 'haired' and 'idiot'. But we still need a new server. Dilbert says to Alice and Wally, "He signed the purchase order for 'clueless."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #elves, #demands, #slapped, #pointy, #hats, #flat, #Funny

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table on which four elves are standing. Dilbert reads from a document, "We the elves make the following demands . . ." Dilbert holds up a fly swatter and asks, "Wouldn't it be funny if I just slapped your pointy hats flat?" The elves walk away wearing flattened hats. An elf says, "I cannot believe what passes for funny around here."