Ethics Expert Comic Strips - Page 9

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151 Results for Ethics Expert

View 81 - 90 results for ethics expert comic strips. Discover the best "Ethics Expert" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #job counseling, #disguise fact, #moron, #knowledge mangement, #optimization intiatives, #key learnings

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Caption: "Job Counseling" Dogbert sits at his desk, tail wagging. A moron stands on the other side. Dogbert says, "We'll need to disguise the fact that you're a moron." Dogbert says, "Ironically, the best way is to become an expert in something called "knowledge management." The moron's hair, shirt and tie are messy. The moron's eyes are vacant. The moron sits in a metting next to the Boss. The moron says, "We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings." The Boss thinks, "Smart."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #boss can't understand hire, #rodeo clown, #engineer, #smells like hay, #fifty percent, #data network engineer, #engineering

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A man in a dirty shirt says, to the boss, "Mwa fwa fwa ooh mah fuh." The boss says, "I can't understands a word you say." The boss says, "And your poorly dressed. You must be some sort of technology expert. Or a rodeo clown." The boss introduces dirty guy to Alice. The boss says, "There's a fifty percent chance I hired a data network engineer." Alice says, "I smell hay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #work ethic, #top engineers, #competetors, #firing, #get rid of, #updating resume, #goes as planned, #hideous disese, #felt useuful, #threatening employment

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Boss: Wally, I'm sending you to a conference for the world's top engineers. With any luck, one of our competitors will try to poach you. That will save me the trouble of firing you. You'll be going with five other people I want to get rid of. I took the liberty of updating your resume. If this goes as planned, you'll destroy one of our competitors from within. Like a hideous disease. Make me proud! Wally: It was the first time I ever felt useful. I didn't like it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2002's comic on:


Tags #accounting system, #accounting troll, #groupies, #worse place, #finance troll, #project

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Dilbert says to an accounting troll, "I need you to be a subject matter expert on my accounting system project." The troll asks, "Will it make the world a worse place to live?" Dilbert replies, "I think so." The troll continues, "I'm in." Dilbert asks, "What's it like to be an accounting troll?" The troll responds, "To be honest, I'm only in it for the groupies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new corporate code, #report immediately, #señor management, #ship prodcuts, #defective, #take care, #lying, #report you

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "If you see anyone violating the new corporate code of ethics, report it immediately." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "I'd like to report our senior management for telling us to ship products that we know are defective." The Boss responds, "Yes, I will take care of that." Dilbert waves one hand, points his finger at The Boss with the other, and says, "Oooh! Oooh! Lying!!! I report you!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #new voice presdient, #right and wrong, #customers project, #hate the most, #charge for time

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The Boss: "Our new vice president of ethics will help you decide what's right and wrong." Wally: "When we talk to him, what customer's project should we charge for our time?" The Boss: "Whichever one we hate the most."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2006's comic on:


Tags #manager, #mp3, #obliviousness, #outsourcing, #product, #quality, #trade off, #elbonian factory, #mp3 player

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"Here's our prototype from the Elbonian factory." "Well, I'm no expert, but this is obviously a good one of these." "It's an mp3 player." "We used to call them plumber's helpers!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2006's comic on:


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I can no longer work with you because of what you said to someone about me. "What did I allegedly say to whom?" "I can't tell you without violating the insane chick code of ethics."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #mergers & acquisitions, #google, #100 million, #engineers, #jump ship, #ceo, #buy out

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CEO: Google offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. Dilbert: Huh. I wonder if I can convince the other engineers to jump ship today and share $100 million amongst us. CEO: What did he just say? Dilbert: Nothing. Just thinking out loud.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #fake 50%, #dumb customers, #smart shoppers, #$400 per hour, #freaking genius

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Dogbert consults Dogbert: Your fake 50% sale prices make dumb customers feel like smart shoppers. CEO: Why am I paying you $400 an hour to tell me what I already know? Dogbert: Usually I charge $800 and hour. CEO: Yes! I'm a freakin' genius.