Fake Excuses Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

142 Results for Fake Excuses

View 81 - 90 results for fake excuses comic strips. Discover the best "Fake Excuses" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #excuses, #argument, #depressed, #conversation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife left me, my truck caught on fire, and all of my organs are failing." Dilbert says, "I work in a collections department." Customer says, "You win." Dilbert says, "Winning isn't what it used to be." a voice yells, "Your five minute break is over!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #interview, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I'm hiring you because you're huge and scary." The boss says, "Our economic forecast calls for the emergence of warlords in 2010." The boss says, "Have you ever pillaged?" Man says, "No, I just go on fake interviews to scope out targets."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuses, #lying down, #table, #reading, #agenda, #sleeping, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Agenda items four through seven don't involve me." Wally says, "I'll use that time to take a refreshing table nap. Experts say it's good for productivity." The boss says, "I need to talk to those experts." Zzzzzzz

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #complaining, #confessing, #excuses, #angry

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I couldn't do any work this week because my project doesn't have a charge code." Wally says, "The chargeback group won't answer my e-mails, and our ethics rules forbid me from using a false code." Wally says, "It's another failure of management, but I know you can do better next week."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guilt, #excuse, #lie, #work, #avoiding, #acting

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "The successful work - avoider combines a fake eagerness to help with just a hint of likely failure." Man says, "Wally, I need load calcs in an hour." Wally says, "No problem! Unless my computer keeps crashing like it did all morning." Man says, "I'll ask someone else." Wally says, "I am begging you to let me help!" Asok thinks, "Wow!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #procrastination, #excuses, #asking, #frustrated, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "If I don't have enough time to do things right, should I just do nothing?" Wally says, "Or do you prefer that I miss deadlines, or do shoddy work, or pray for divine intervention?" The boss says, "I want everything fast and perfect." Wally says, "Can I buy a prayer rug?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuses, #ridiculous, #explaining, #software, #reassurance, #angry, #annoyed, #lazy, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "My productivity software turned on me." Wally says, "It keeps crashing my computer. But that's okay because I don't need a computer to do my job." Wally says, "Do you have any assignments that are sort of pre-industrial?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telling, #confused, #relinquish, #change, #excuses, #reasoning

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Tina, you can't work at home anymore because the admins can't do it, and they're jealous." Tina says, "I'm a technical writter. Why don't you explain to the admins that my job is different from theirs." The Boss says, "When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asking, #project, #procrastination, #excuses, #stupidity, #lying

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Wally, are you done with your project yet?" Wally says, "I'll be done next week." The Boss says ,"You've said, 'Next week' for seven weeks in a row. What makes you think I'm going to believe it this time?" Wally says, "The first six times?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #asking, #project, #procrastination, #excuses, #blame, #distraction, #annoyed, #frustrated, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Wally, you didn't e-mail me your project status." Wally says, "Did you check your spam folder?" Wally says, "Maybe you should check there before you besmirch my good name with your baseless accusations." The Boss says, "Did you send it?" Wally says, "Okay, I see how you're trying to turn this around."