Gets Cancelled Comic Strips - Page 9
189 Results for Gets Cancelled
View 81 - 90 results for gets cancelled comic strips. Discover the best "Gets Cancelled" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 09, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home and says to Dogbert, "You're probably wondering how my day was." Dogbert sits on the couch reading a magazine. Dilbert says, "It was terrible . . . Until I did THIS!" Dilbert holds up a diagram. Dilbert sits down and explains, "It all started when I deluded muself into thinking my opinions mattered." Dilbert continues, "I sprang into action like a cheetah on a trampoline!" Dilbert gets up and demonstrates. Dilbert continues, "I drew lines and boxes and arrows for hours. It was pure adrenaline." Dilbert shouts, "Suddenly, trouble struck! It wouldn't fit on one page!!" Dilbert continues, "So I shrunk everything until it was totally unreadable. And it fit!!" Dilbert concludes, "The moral of the story is that you don't have to feel bad just because you're totally worthless." Dogbert says, "I'd mock you but the challenge is gone."
Share July 20, 1997's comic on:
Tags #cancelled meeting, #dilmom, #effort, #glass half full, #made extra money, #no over time pay, #not funded, #not important work, #optimitic, #power point slides worse, #wast of time, #waste of enery, #worked till midnight, #dilberts mother
Dilbert helps his mom with her coat. Dilbert says, "As usual, I worked until midnight last night, mom." Dilbert's Mom says, "Well, at least you made some extra money." Dilbert puts his jacket on. Dilbert says, "I don't get paid for over-time." Dilbert and Dilbert's Mom take a walk. Dilbert's Mom says, "Well, at least it was important work." Dilbert says, "Not really." Dilbert says, "My boss made me change my "Power-point" slides, but the changes made them worse." Mom says, "Well. at least you're prepared for you meeting." Dilbert says, "It was canceled." Dilbert and Mom seen in the distance. Dilbert says, "But that's okay, because the project isn't funded anyway." Mom says, "So....you worked for free to worsen a presentation for a meeting that won't happen for a project that doesn't exist?" Dilbert says, "Yup." Mom says, "Well...at least you could travel back in time without having any impact on history." Dilbert says, "Yeah, my glass is half full."
Share August 17, 1997's comic on:
Wally is driving to work. He thinks, "I have a vague feeling of uncertainty." At work Wally thinks, "It gets stronger at the office." Wally loses his balance and thinks, "The uncertainty saps my strength. My suitcase is getting heavier." Wally crawls on the floor and says, "Must.. get... to... cubicle." Wally leans back in his chair. He thinks, "The uncertainty feels like a piano on my chest." The Boss looks in on him. The Boss says, "I decided to reorganize... or downsize, unless there's a merger." Wally waves his arms about. Wally says, "I summon the unholy demons of Apathy, Sarcasm, and Cynicism!" Wally is surrounded by devils and demons. He says, "Good thinking! Reorganizations always increase profits!" The Boss thinks, "Wow. Third time today."
Share September 07, 1997's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a computer with a telephone headset on. He says, "This is Dogbert's technical support. How may I disconnect you?" Wally sits at his computer and holds a cordless phone. He says, "What are my choices?" Dogbert says, "I recommend the abrupt disconnect; simple, gets the job done." Wally replies, "I had that last time. What else do you have?" Dogbert says, "You might like our 'Please hold,' followed by the 'wrong button' disconnect." Wally says, "Too predictable. Do you have anything new?" Dogbert says, "Try our new "Kervorkian Disconnect." I put you on hold and play an annoying message until you disconnect yourself." Through the phone Wally hears, "Your call is important. Please hold while we ignore it... Your call is important..." Wally thinks, "Not bad."
Share October 19, 1997's comic on:
Catbert sits at his computer terminal. The monitor dispalys a picture of Wally, labeled Victims. Catbert thinks, "You're next." Catbert stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, you've been randomly selected for an employee drug test." Wally says, "Randomly? Why am I the only one who gets picked every week?!" Catbert says, "You're very unlucky at work. But I'm sure you compensate by being lucky at love." Catbert laughs a maniacal laugh. Catbert says, "Anyway... our new drug test uses hair samples." Catbert holds a little box and says, "To be safe, give me six hairs... and one whole eyebrow." Catbert walks off with his box, purring. He thinks, "I'll come back in an hour and says I lost the box."
Share February 05, 1999's comic on:
Caption: "Doctor Dogbert" Dogbert wears a crown and stethoscope. A bald man in black socks and boxers sits on the examining table. Dogbert says, "I'm putting you on extreme herbal therapy." Dogbert writes a prescription and says, "Come to my house once a week and eat my lawn down to one inch." The man gets dressed. Dogbert says, "After six months, if your hair doesn't grow back, I have more herbs in my storm gutters."
Share June 23, 1999's comic on:
Asok stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "They're transfering me to "Quality Assurance," Wally." As Asok gets dragged away by two people he says, "But I'll be back, no matter how long it takes, or how hard! Just stay alive!!" Wally types at his computer and thinks, "Wow. There must be a million sites about wiener dogs."
Share August 10, 1999's comic on:
Asok, Wally and Dilbert stare at a large book. Dilbert says, "One of us will have to read this gigantic product requirements document." Wally says, "Unless it gets destroyed in a freak accident." Wally says, "I have some oily rags in mu cube." Asok thinks, "It's like watching Thomas Edison work."
Share September 02, 1999's comic on:
The boss holds a cup and says, "Every emplyee gets a lovely mug with our new motto, "I mad a differernce:=." Dilbert sits between Alice and Wally and says, "Question: May I have the cash equivalent of the mug instead?" The boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "May I have a mug that says, "I didn't make a differance"?"
Share October 06, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert holds a coffe mug and says to Wally, "How's the new guy doing?" Wally looks at Embryo on the desk and says, "Not bad for an embryo in a jar." Wally says, "I hate the fact that he only got fertilized a week ago and he gets paid more than I do." Dilbert says, "In all fairness, he does obstruct progress less than you do." Wally says, "Everyone sides with the cute one."